What Do You Define As Cheating?

We’ve all been there – peeking over our partner’s shoulder at their phone, or getting jealous instantly when they’re talking to strangers

Feeling insecure and jealous sometimes is natural, as is over-reacting to situations, even when we have nothing to worry about. But as the popular saying goes, ‘where there is smoke, there is fire’. If you have a nagging feeling that simply won’t go away, perhaps your significant other is up-to-no good…

Taking to social media, The Weekender delves into the issue of cheating, to find out what our readers define as cheating and if they could avoid flirting with an attractive person when their partner wasn’t around.

“Cheating occurs when a person is in a defined relationship with someone but has stronger sustained feelings for another. Those feelings can be emotional or physical, acted upon or not,” Good-news Goases said. “The idea is that your commitment to your relationship is not as strong as your desire to be with another person,” she added.

Responding to the question of flirting, Goases said she can definitely avoid flirting with someone attractive when committed to someone else. “For instance, is my relationship on solid ground? Are we mature in our understanding of what monogamy means to each other?” Goases said.

Similiar to Goases, Issy Nawinda stated that flirting is one step away from cheating. He said anyone can avoid flirting and must do so especially when somebody is attractive to them.

“Cheating is subjective to how respectfully your partner would perceive your behaviour outside their company,” Noelie Hounzanmen said. “Morally, you should know those lines from the boundaries you both set in your relationship such as what you and your partner would deem respectable and acceptable to say or do in their presence,” she added.

Hounzanmen further stated that flirting touches the tip of cheating when someone intentionally conceals their relationship status and commitment to someone else. “Flirting can be harmless or humorous, for example amongst friends as long as you’re not leading people on,” she said.

Bringing in the effect of social media on relationships, Twiggy Pringle said it’s easy to be misled by others when chatting online as it is easy to lie or conceal your relationship.

Doreen Tasmitha Kruger gave a very simple explanation as to what she thinks cheating is. “Cheating from my perspective is when you date or have an affair with someone else without your partner knowing,” she said.

“Attraction can also be materialistic for both men and women,” William Joseph Mbangula said.

Laone Frans said that taking short cuts in relationships when you can’t deal with breaking up or the tears that follow is what causes cheating. He further stated that he wouldn’t be able to avoid flirting with someone attractive. “Nope, I love the risk. Anyone who says they can (avoid it), obviously haven’t had very attractive people interested in them,” he said.

Jackal Tactics is succint in his summary. “Cheating is a crime”.

On Twitter, Charles Nakale said it speaks volumes about character when you can prove yourself when your partner isn’t around. “Yes, you can avoid flirting. Integrity is very important in a relationship. It’s about who you are when your partner is not around. Faithfulness is being constant all the time. Who you are when nobody is watching. That’s what determines your character. Be true,” he said.

Paulin Nekongo’s reasoning fits well with Nakale’s thoughts. “Cheating is the act of fraud. Yes, you can avoid flirting and we should learn to respect or value our partner.”

“Cheating is a social system aspect that needs to be done to maintain the system in an equilibrium state. Flirting isn’t wrong unless it’s more,” Andreas Shikongo said.

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