Being raped at the age of 14 did not only change the course of Manela Gaeses’ life, but also denied her the opportunity to finish school.
Gaeses (22), now a single mother of three children aged seven, six and three months, was raped by a former schoolmate in a riverbed while walking home from her friend’s birthday celebration in Windhoek in 2018.
Sharing her experience during a community reflection and connection session held under the One Economy Foundation’s effective parenting support group initiative in Windhoek on Saturday, Gaeses said since then, her life changed completely.
“Seven months after I was raped, I found out I was pregnant. I could not abort the baby because it was already seven months,” she said.
“I became a single mother at 14 and because of that, I was never able to finish school,” she said.
She said she dropped out of school to find a source of income because her parents kicked her out of their home.
Gaeses added that she struggled to bond with her first child.
“I resorted to trying different men and looking for a father figure,” she said.
Gaeses said she realised after a while that it was a bad idea to introduce her children to different men.
She said she only told her mother she had been raped a year after her daughter was born.
After being introduced to the effective parenting support group by her neighbour, Gaeses said she became a better mother.
She said she did not understand what the support group was about at first, but now she does not miss a single session.
Gaeses added that she attended meetings with her three-month-old baby and urged fellow parents to do the same.
She now raises her three children with the help of her 55-year-old mother, who is a retired domestic worker.
Another parent, Themba Windwaai (35), joined the support group because he wanted to be a more patient parent after growing up with strict parents.
“Through this programme, I learnt the importance of being patient with children, listening to them and allowing them to express themselves,” he says.
Faith Muruko (25), another parent part of the support group, raises her two children with her boyfriend.
She says the support group helped her become a more understanding mother who listens to her children and exercises patience when dealing with them.
“As a young parent, I had to unlearn many unhealthy habits and parenting patterns I grew up with. I learnt that parenting requires patience and that our children need the freedom to express themselves and discover who they are,” she says.
The community session brought together parents, caregivers and community members to discuss the realities of parenting and the support needed to raise children in challenging circumstances.
Young parents accessed free reproductive health services at the #BeFree Cares Clinic, including family planning, HIV testing and doctor consultations.
Speaking at the event, One Economy Foundation director for health and wellness Veronica Theron said young people often prepare for careers and other life goals but seldom receive adequate guidance on relationships, marriage and parenthood.
She said the effective parenting support group seeks to equip parents and caregivers with practical skills, knowledge and support networks that can strengthen families and improve the well-being of children.
“Parenting doesn’t come with a manual. Every family has its own unique journey. That’s why it’s so important to attend initiatives like this to learn more about relationships, strengthen our parenting skills, and grow together,” she said.
She said the programme provides a safe and supportive space for young parents to openly discuss relationship and parenting challenges, identify unhealthy patterns and learn from one another, encouraging participants to break cycles of ineffective parenting.
