Vindictiveness

Are you one of those people who believes in an ‘eye for an eye’? When you get angry, do you say things like ‘you’ll get yours, I’ll see to it’ or ‘remember what goes around comes around’? If so, like it or not, you have a vindictive streak.

Vindictive people believe in inflicting pain on others. A great example of this is the mere fact that my fellow men keep abusing and taking lives of innocent women, which, in most cases, can be avoided with proper ways of settling scores.

Let me give you an example of an easy way to settle a score. If perhaps you are in a relationship with a woman where you supply her daily needs such as toiletries, paying her rent or even supporting her financially and she one day decides she no longer wants to be with you, what do you do in such a scenario?

Does taking her life fix it all? No! Materialistic things such as money or any value in such a form can be repaid. We need to learn how to communicate and understand that taking the life of another will never fix a situation. Learn how to forgive, forget and move on.

Put simply, vindictiveness is about getting even or insulting one another. On the surface, it’s about anger and expressing it in a vengeful manner. But vindictiveness is really about hurt and pain, whether physical or emotional. People with this tendency think they’ll feel better after inflicting pain upon others. The problem is that they won’t!

I urge all youth to refrain from such behaviour. Let’s learn to talk to one another and stop taking lives. As far as I know, forgiveness is the only antidote to vindictiveness.

At some point, you have to say yourself: ‘I forgive that person for hurting me. What she did was wrong but I forgive her. I won’t forget what she did, but I’ll forgive her’. Repetition counts so say that to yourself as many times as it takes to let go of the hurt.

Also keep in mind that forgiveness isn’t easy. It’s a choice you make; no one can make you forgive another human being. It takes time. It requires personal support and demands sacrifice.

You have to give up being the victim. You have to quit insisting that life has to be fair and surrender your right to revenge. Avoid

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