It was Valentine’s Day. She was beautiful. And for the past three monthsSimon Ndjalo had thought of little else as he shone his shoes, whistleda tune and fell quite irretrievably in love.
Rina Stoffels. To him, even her name sounded like a famous sonnet and despite it being a singing-in-the-rain, dancing-in-the-moonlight, kissing-in-the-barley cliché, everything about her seemed to make his heart ache.
The way she bit on her bottom lip when she was concentrating too hard, how she couldn’t resist glancing into reflective surfaces then looked around to see if anybody noticed, the way her hair curled slightly when it rained.
Simon couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have found her; and she was smart too. Every time he saw her, she had a different book tucked neatly into her bag and she always took her lunch breaks at the book store even though the chicken salad was as dry as the literature.
Rina was pregnant. Simon had found the positive pregnancy test under a pile of wet wipes in the wastebasket beside her bathtub. And lately when she showered she would surreptitiously tweak her breasts before staring at her naked self in the full length mirror.
Despite Rina’s silent trepidation, Simon had always wanted children and had already spent hours imagining what they would look like when they were older and whether they wanted a boy or a girl. Rina, on the other hand, had remained resolutely quiet on the matter and there was no trace of casual pink or blue baby fare to indicate her preference.
Simon knew Rina was the one because he wanted to be just like her and he had spent days trying to know what she knew, love what she loved and be where she was.
Every time she finished a book he was right there waiting to run his fingers over the once caressed pages while trying to fathom the imprint they had left on her burgeoning mind.
Appalled at the thought of looking like a fool if he didn’t know what something was about, Simon would find himself Googling late into the night as she slept. Until his fingers went into spasm. Until he was bloodshot and bleary-eyed but totally prepared if she ever wanted to discuss something.
Rina had changed his life and as Simon looked over at her he knew that he didn’t want to live another day without her. They were sitting at Fresh ‘n Wild having lunch and Rina was sipping adorably on a chocolate milkshake as he fell in love with her all over again.
As the day demanded, the whole place was done up in red and white and while Simon thought it was cheesy, he knew that she was a sucker for that kind of thing. Sweet, romantic Rina, he thought.
But as he peered across at her, suddenly his brow creased in concern as he watched her hand tremble ever so slightly and she rushed to put it in her lap, out of his line of sight.
The truth was she’d been acting strangely all day.
She’d kept glancing over her shoulder on the walk over and, sitting there now, he had to admit that she looked a little nervous.
For a fleeting moment Simon wondered whether she had found out about his plan but he knew that was impossible.
He’d been so secret, so careful – he wanted everything to be perfect and to reassure himself he wrapped his hand lightly around the object in his jacket pocket.
He was going to do it in Zoo Park. On the bridge. It was her favourite place.
Favourite place. Perfect day.
He just wished she would hurry up and finish that goddamn milkshake.
Simon hated milkshakes.
They reminded him of his first girlfriend. A white woman named Vanessa Robbins who would invite him over to her house after school and make every flavour you could imagine, peanut butter, nectarine, kiwi, you name it.
She was so wholesome, so pure … he should have known that he was only coming over for dessert.
Milkshakes had always been a symbol of frustration for Simon Ndjalo and today was no different.
Finally he saw her slurp the last few dregs and wipe her mouth carefully with a napkin before getting up to leave.
As she smiled at her waitress and walked past his booth he tried to catch her eye but as always it was like he wasn’t even there.
As if he was some kind of ghost.
The phantom who snuck into her house so he could watch her in the shower.
The spectre who owned every book she had ever read.
He let her smell waft around him and heard the tinkling of the bells on the door before he got up to follow her.
