Sugar and Spice … The Texting Game

I think I’m getting old.

Not old in years, per se, because I know many 30-something-year-olds roll their eyes when I go into a flat spin about not being a spring chicken any more, but old as in… old fashioned.

Maybe I’ve always been old.

The other day I realised… I really don’t like dating.

Well… The ‘getting to know each other’ stage of dating, anyway.

It’s all flirty fun and games and it can be breathlessly exciting, but this dating thing… It’s a lot of work.

Beyond the time and energy that goes into seeing whether I’d be compatible with whoever is trying to chat me up at that moment, getting to a place where you can actually get to know someone is stressful.

I’m decent at Monopoly, I’m good at charades and I’m brilliant at 30 Seconds, but a game I’ve never learnt to master is The Texting Game.

The ‘someone somewhere said I should wait a few days before texting’, the ‘do I reply now or will it make me seem overeager?’ and the ‘I’m not supposed to text first’ game.

I don’t get it, and I don’t want to play it.

I don’t want to wait exactly 27 minutes to reply to your text even though I saw it when you sent it because I was scrolling down my Instagram feed just so it makes me look cool and composed.

I don’t want to wait days for you to text me when you asked for my number and I didn’t hesitate to give it.

I don’t want to have to second guess every move I make to prove to whoever is on the other end of the phone that they’re just an option.

I don’t want to play this game. And I won’t.

I wish other people didn’t play it either.

I wish these things were as simple and straightforward as I’d like the world to be.

Or I wish that, at the very least, there was a rule book and it was universal.

Rules I’d put in The Texting Game Guide Book:

1. If you ask me for my number, text me. That day. You don’t have to launch into a monologue regarding your intentions or have it an interesting, entertaining conversation with subtle flirting at the right moments all figured out. All you have to say is “hey, this is my number. Hope you have a good day. Talk soon”.

2. If we’re in the middle of a conversation and you get busy or fall asleep or forget to reply… Say so.

3. And: Be as considerate as you’d want me to be to you. If you’d like me to reply within this decade, reach out to you as much as you text first and contact me at a decent hour that proves you’re not just a booty call, do the same.

The rest we’ll figure out along the way.

What rules would you put into #TheTextingGameGuideBook? ‘Tweet me!

– cindy@namibian.com.na; @SugaryOblivion on Twitter and Instagram; sugary-oblivion.tumblr.com

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