More people are speaking out about mental illnesses and how to cope with them.
From diagnosed depression and anxiety to bipolar disorders, these illnesses were once considered taboo and sadly even today, many are still being stigmatised for their condition.
This is why many people living with mental health conditions often suffer in silence and feel a sense of shame around friends and family, and even with their romantic partners.
But in a community where more people are being open about mental illnesses, especially among millennials, this fear is slowly, but surely, shattering. Ros Limbo, a yogi, writer and blogger, was diagnosed with severe depression and bipolar disorder and is quite open when talking about her condition.
“I have come to find that it is easier to verbalise the inherent fears that come with living with bipolar than it is to try and hide the illness behind social pleasantries and forced smiles,” she said.
And the bumpy road all began in 2014 with a relationship. Limbo revealed that disclosing her condition to her partner was difficult at the time.
“I had convinced myself that my ex and I could somehow make our relationship work. Although I didn’t immediately tell him about my mental illness, I wasn’t too nervous about it because he was a medical doctor. Silly me believed that all those in the medical profession understood mental illness (insert eye roll here).”
One day, she decided to test the waters by bringing up mental illness. “Before I had fully stated my thoughts on depression, he cut me off and said: ‘There is no such thing as depression. Mental illness is just something stupid created by psychologists’. Well, perhaps he wasn’t that blunt, but that is how I heard it. And in that statement, the budding romance was over!”
That wasn’t the end of it, though.
“I can lie and say I ended it immediately, but that was not the case. When he found out that I was bipolar, he just stopped taking my calls and answering my texts. His reaction made me feel like I was incapable of being loved and that maybe me thinking I had a mental illness was all in my head (how ironic).” Limbo said she found herself in a dark place, where she was unwilling to do anything that could bring her any sense of joy, but blogging brought her a sense of peace.
“Blogging gave me a platform to share my pain without the fear of being judged. The more I published posts, the more I realised that I was not alone. There are so many people that live with and are affected by mental illness. The stigma surrounding mental illness does nothing to save those on the brink of giving up on life. My posts became more personal as I grew comfortable with sharing my journey with bipolar.”
Although she felt a sense of release, the next relationship in her life became a little complicated, but a link helped it all. “When I met my partner, I didn’t tell him about my mental illness. Instead I gave him a link to my blog; because on my blog he could read my truth in a way that is not filtered to hide shame. I told him to read as many posts as he could and come back if he was still interested in being with me. And in that moment I found someone that understood me in a way I never thought possible. The next day he came back and told me he loved me after listing his favourite posts.”
Limbo said that although she’s happy in her relationship, there are still many fears. “Even though he loves me, I still have days when I get scared that the bipolar will get overwhelming for him and he will leave. However, I am learning that those who love you will always try their best to understand you and the mental illness you share your life with. He reminds me to sleep on time, reduce my workload, eat well and exercise: things I sometimes don’t want to do when I’m in a downward mood. I’m truly lucky to have him.”
Another person who suffers from anxiety and depression is 20-year-old Loide Nampala. This happened when she fell pregnant and her family offered her no emotional support. Although she may be single now, she feels that she needs to tell her future partner about her life. “I will tell my partner because he plays a role in my life which is being supportive and aware of situations in order to build on trust,” she said.
Although mental health is more socially acceptable, in a sense, than it was before, Nampala said it’s still difficult to talk about. “Not enough people tend to talk about mental health as they are afraid of how the public may look at them and discriminate against them.”
