Elections Are Like Erections

And no. It does not really have a bearing on my livelihood, because most protocol-obsessed folks are borderline moronic any way. Either that or they are thieving thieves.

So, when they asked me to do an analysis of some of the political parties currently represented in our elite club up the hill, I knew it was a bad idea.

But a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. And here goes.

Elections are like erections. Un-freaking-reliable. And they are so mean to old things. It is like the older something gets, the more complex they become.

They say old people do not become mean. They simply reach a dangerously awesome stage of not giving a f*#k.

The same for erections. They actually become downright disrespectful. You know, like that condescending teenager.

The forthcoming elections of Swapo leaders really got me thinking. See, we have quite a good variety of candidates here. The good, the bad and the ugly.

But most importantly, a good mix of young and old.

And the foreplay is on. But that is a story for another day. Because the same analogy applies to the various political formations.

Take Swanu for example. The party is so old, it does not even remember the last time it had a real good firm stance.

Which explains why it has failed to ensure some real penetration within the constituencies.

But thanks to Swapo, this party has been on the receiving end of endless blowjobs with every electoral season – just to keep it coming.

And then we have the young one – the Affirmative Repositioning (AR) – and its premature ejaculations.

The party is very inexperienced, it simply hops in and out of an election with no tangible outcome.

And if it lasts for the race it goes on and on until it is pushed away. Still no tangible outcome. To think of the hype and threats and all the empty promises.

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