Open your closet. Now be honest: how much of what’s hanging in there is actually you and how much of it is just what someone else convinced you to try?
I learned this the hard way at this year’s MTC Wine Extravaganza. It was my fifth time attending, and for the first time the event had a theme.
I liked the idea of it, but for some reason, I hadn’t fully decided I even wanted to go this year. My usual group and I had agreed early on that we’d all attend but when the day came, three of my friends decided it was too cold and pulled out.
I’m the kind of person who, when I say yes to something, treats it like a challenge to keep my word, even after the wanting has quietly left the room.
So, with just my cousin and me, instead of the bigger group we’d planned, I committed anyway.
With no time to shop, I had to build an outfit from what was already in my closet. My cousin, a well-known creative known for his style, came by to help.
Piece by piece, he put together a look that genuinely worked on my body. It looked good. He encouraged me to step outside what I’d normally wear, to try something new, and against my better judgement, I did.
I regretted it almost instantly. All night, I found myself quietly adjusting, unpinning, pulling off pieces bit by bit, trying to make an outfit that looked right feel right. It never quite did.
Here’s what that night confirmed for me: if you ask anyone who truly knows me, they’ll tell you I know what I like and I stay with what I like because I’ve realised that is who I am. We’re all different, unique, and our style is one of the clearest ways that shows.
Think of the woman known for the way she wears a particular blazer, or the scarf the president is recognised by. That recognition isn’t an accident. It’s consistency with self.
This column isn’t about discarding your style for someone else’s idea of better. It’s about adding new pieces to who you already are, without losing the thread of what makes you, you.
Some weeks, we’ll sit down with Windhoekers who dress with real intention. Other weeks, practical tips on building a wardrobe, organising a closet, dressing for the life you actually live.
All of it in service of one thing: coming home to your authentic self, one outfit at a time.
– Esme Ndjodhi writes on style and authenticity.
