December, better known as wedding season in Namibia, is hastily approaching. For some, it may be the best day of their lives while for others, it could feel like a nightmare. With all the logistics and costs involved, there is a lot that goes into creating the perfect wedding day.
Although the attention may fall on the bride and groom, little is said about the bridesmaids and groomsmen and their responsibilities on the big day.
The bride, for example, may control what her bridesmaids should wear, but not many people are aware of how far a bridesmaid has to go to make the bride’s dreams come true.
explores the organisation and planning behind a wedding, from the bridal party’s point of view.
In many traditional weddings, brides and grooms opt for over five bridesmaids and groomsmen and this in turn creates a financial burden on the bridal party. They are required to pay for their dresses/suits, hair, shoes, make-up and transport.
In Namibia, for example, if you are selected as a bridesmaid, you are often responsible for financing it all, without assistance from the bride and groom. And at the wedding, you are also required to serve guests and fulfil many other duties to ensure that the day runs as smoothly as possible. After all, it is a day of celebration.
Ndahafa Jeremia, a soon-to-be bridesmaid, says that the responsibilities are plenty. “We have to help the bride find her clothes and then on the wedding day, you have to help with the cooking, serving, etc.” In terms of costs, this is what she had to say: “For the dresses, you have to pay for them yourself. Because we are doing an African theme, we have to pay about N$350, but other bridesmaids have to wear other clothes which may cost more.” But of course, it varies from wedding to wedding.
“Some people spend a lot, others don’t, but everything is really expensive,” Jeremia added.
Despite this, she says that it’s worthwhile. “About the money we have to pay, it’s something that we are told in advance. For the wedding I am attending, I was told about what I had to pay in March. It’s October now. There is more than enough time for you to prepare.”
And it’s not all doom and gloom. “The primary thing of being a bridesmaid is to help out and make sure that people are served.”
Aune Kapuka, a young professional, says that being independent and employed means taking on more bridal party duties. “Most weddings where I am a bridesmaid, we are forced to fork out close to N$1 500 and sometimes as much as N$2 500 for a bride who wants more than two dresses for the different receptions.”
Kapuka further said that cheap, however, does not always mean hideous. “I feel the bride should sometimes consider our pockets because many times, as a working class person, there are certain cultural procedures that you have to contribute to and in most cases, you are expected to give a cow, goat or sheep as offering. That is in addition to transport and accommodation as well.”
She shared the costs with a heavy heart. “On average, we sometimes end up spending close to N$10 000 just on a wedding that last for two days.”
Kapuka also shared one of her bridesmaid experiences which didn’t turn out so well. “I once had to pay N$700 for my cousin’s wedding. The dress was bought from a China shop at Oshikango and it didn’t even fit. They were shiny and looked horrible. The brides never consider the body shape and the features of the bridesmaids when they are choosing the dresses.”
However, women are not the only ones who fall victim to bridal party costs. Men have to fork out a good amount too. “You contribute for the suit which varies from N$1 000 to N$2 000, that’s excluding shoes, most times. And these days, you do additional payments for the African print shirts that are for the afterparty/church… And you have to give the groom some cash apart from the gifts. Then there’s travelling, drinks and food,” Onesmus Mwafangeyo said.
It can all add up to quite a hefty amount.
Weddings are quite the event in many cultures, especially in the Wambo culture. So much time and money are spent on organising the once-off event. People travel from all over to get a glimpse and be a part of this memorable day.
Newlywed Aina Sakaria described her day as beautiful. “It was just like we had planned it to be, except we couldn’t really get to all the receptions on time as scheduled because of the distance between towns,” she said.
As wonderful as it may have been, the wedding was definitely an expensive exercise. “The costs are likely to be twice as much as you expect it to be so you should carefully plan for the actual day because the little things you overlooked could add to your costs.”
To cut a few costs at her wedding, she opted not to hire a wedding planner, and instead have the bridal party take care of certain things. “It was not my desire to have a wedding planner. My husband and I simply drew up a checklist of what needed to be done, when things should be done and how much we were willing to spend on the items on the list. Occasionally, we would assign family and friends to carry out some tasks and tick off things that were done.”
Other costs she mentioned were the cake and decorations. “Most people are stuffed when it’s time for cake and it is usually just something to look at. Instead of ordering a huge sophisticated cake, maybe just order a small one for show. Also, you don’t have to go overboard on the decorations to make a big statement at your wedding.
“Find ways to utilise simplicity in your theme. Your guests are more likely to appreciate the food and drinks than the cake and decorations”, Sakaria concluded.
Because wedding expenses can break the bank, Bank Windhoek’s executive officer for marketing and corporate communications, Jaquiline Pack, had this advice to share about saving, relevant to brides and grooms who are not too eager to pay an arm and a leg for their wedding: “We all like the nice things in life, but before we want to splurge on luxuries or follow fashionable trends, we need to sit down and contemplate whether we really need it and most of all, if we can afford it”.
