Not everyone is lucky enough to have both parents in their lives, however, they are granted father figures – authoritative men in life who take care of their children, whether they are biologically related or not.
Although Mac-Donald Vihanga had a father figure in his life, he was never quite present.
It was only last year when he met his biological father for the first time. He was already in his 30s. However, after meeting only twice, Vihanga’s father, Alfred Tjihoreko, more affectionately known as Rakandomua, passed away from pneumonia last year.
“We only communicated over the phone a few times, but I have a lot of regrets because I didn’t know much about him. He’s a person of love, though. He’s my hero, my champion. At his funeral service, I could see myself in him.”
Speaking with affection for his father, Vihanga proudly said that Tjihoreko was the first to own a car in the village and always motivated those around him.
“I’m proud to have met him. A lot of people haven’t met their parents, but sometimes I feel like it’s unfair.”
Occasionally, Vihanga said he draws strength from the Bible verse in Deuteronomy which says “be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you”.
Although Vihanga didn’t have a chance to talk about things happening in his life with his father as much as he hoped, there are still many lessons that he was able to learn in a short span of time.
“You have to listen to other people’s advice. My father was ill, he died of pneumonia. But he still wanted to go to weddings and funerals. Whenever you would tell him to stop, he would be very stubborn,” Vihanga shared. “If only he listened to my advice. It’s heartbreaking.”
When Vihanga met his father in April 2016, he said it was a shock to meet someone who looked exactly like him. “I was shocked. But when I came back to Windhoek, I promised myself that I would go back to visit.”
Unfortunately, Vihanga did not have a driver’s license at the time. “I kept trying for months and months and I kept failing. So I would speak to my father over the phone and he would always say that he was fine. One day when I asked him how he was, he just said, ‘Ag’. That’s when I knew that he was weak.”
His father passed away on 1 August in the same year. “I learnt that you should never let things keep you from family time. He was more important than work.”
With the determination to empower the youth thanks to his organisation the Generation Next Youth Club, he’s found something to believe in.
“I can’t believe I have new brothers and sisters that I’ve never met. I learnt more about my father through him. There have been suicidal thoughts in the past, though. I used to say things like ‘I’m useless’, but then I ask myself ‘how did you get this far?’ If you end it, you have to understand the spiritual side of it. Are you going to be happy with what you’ve done?”
And one of the reasons he’s still holding on his because of his mother. “She’s been there for me.”
But after 29 years, it was time for the secret to come out.
“Close friends and family were all left wondering what was happening as I posted pictures of a strange man on social media captioning him as my father who had just passed away. It’s puzzling because the man everyone knew as my father was not really my biological father. This was all new to me as I had just been introduced to my real father about a year ago.
“The truth has set my parents free from the secret that was kept for almost 29 years because they were both married to different people at that time and it wouldn’t be appropriate to have a child outside of marriage.”
Vihanga may have had a father figure, but sadly, he was absent. “He left my mom to raise us all by herself so it’s not like I really had a father figure present. However, I feel like I have now really found myself. After meeting my real father, I felt like a missing piece of the puzzle of my life was found but not for long because that same piece was removed from my life when he died recently.”
But his religious beliefs keep him holding on. “In the midst of all this, I only have God to praise because He is a faithful God. Through the little time I spent with my father I learnt that he was full of jokes and humour plus pure intelligence. I’m really going to miss him dearly.”
