Weekender: Self-Appointed Excellence

Let me help you understand this matter properly, because clearly we are all missing the genius unfolding right in front of us.

Please, just awaken your imagination a little.

According to legend, Fernest (pronounced Fairness) was the acting chief executive officer (CEO) of a council. Focus on the acting. And we all know what actors do. They commit. They become the role. They do not play-play.

If you are acting as a CEO for a council that does not even have a human resources manager, what do you do? You solve the problem.

So there he is, walking through the corridors of the council, probably with that serious ‘today we fix things’ face, when it hits him. The position of human resources and administration manager does not exist in any meaningful way. Just vibes, files and confusion. And clearly, there was no way he was going to run a half-cooked organisation like that. Not on his watch.

Now understand this. Fernest is not your average placeholder. This one is a method actor.

Of course, he immediately runs into a small issue. Finding a suitable candidate, steep requirements such as five years of experience in the field and vast institutional knowledge. Understanding of internal politics. The kind of qualifications you cannot just download from LinkedIn.

So he does what any responsible leader would do. He conducts a thorough and scientific search of the available talent pool. He looks left, right, and even checks behind the filing cabinet, just in case someone qualified is hiding there. Fkkl!

After this exhaustive process, he found only one person who has been employed as human resource officer. Not himself, as he was the acting CEO at that point. Please keep up!

Now let’s be honest for a second. If he had hired someone from outside, people would be shouting: “These outsiders are taking our jobs!” If he had hired a cousin, suddenly it is “nepotism this, nepotism that”, with headlines already written before the contract ink is even dry.

So Fernest cuts the drama before it even starts. By appointing himself, he eliminates nepotism completely. You cannot accuse a man of favouring his relatives if there are no relatives involved. It is clean. It’s a closed loop. Let’s call it self-contained integrity.

Now let’s talk about the letter, because this is where the story becomes proper art. The kind you expect from a committed performer.

Fernest sits down and writes a letter to himself as a professional addressing another professional. And then, like a true gentleman, he congratulates himself.

“Congratulations on your new appointment.”

Imagine that kind of support in your life. Some of you cannot even get a simple “well done” from your own friends.

This is self-care at an advanced level. This is internal motivation. This is a man who understands that if you do not applaud yourself, nobody will.

Honestly, I am shocked he was not nominated at the Namibia Film and Theatre Awards 2026. That was a full performance of dual roles with no rehearsals and in front of a live audience. Zero confusion between characters.

Then, of course, come the critics. As always. Suddenly everyone is an ethics and what-what expert.

People start talking about the housing allowance, vehicle allowance, 13th cheque and that lekker fat salary as if these things just fell from the sky.

Do you know what it means to wake up as acting CEO, give instructions, then later sit down as HR officer, accept your appointment as manager: HR, and perform your new duties without question?

And now the Anti-Corruption Commission is behaving like he cracked open a vault in the middle of the night. Relax. The man just signed some papers. Papers that, by the way, solved problems. If anything, they should be thanking him for efficiency.

Let us not pull the ‘what about?’ card now, because this is a unique situation. The town needed a human resources manager. He had the authority to appoint. And when he got back to that office, there was clearly no better candidate than the one already sitting in the chair.

Please, do not try to drag Fishrot, Fuelrot and even Brainrot into this matter. This is not the same thing. Those are scandals. This is theatre. High-level creativity.

Let’s ask a serious question: If we start arresting people for giving themselves a pat on the back and a decent raise, where does it end? Today it’s Fernest. Tomorrow it’s you after you tell yourself “you deserve better” and order extra chillies with your pizza.

The man did not even try to hide anything, so where is this talk of “no transparency” coming from? It is all there in black and white. He signed the letter himself. No fake signatures or backdoor dealings. Just pure administrative genius.

“I, Fernest, believe that I, Fernest, am the best man for the job.”

That is leadership. That is vision.

He saw a vacancy. He identified the best candidate. He made the appointment. That is a sacrifice.

You are calling him a villain. Me, I am seeing a martyr for administrative efficiency.

Down jealousy, down.

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