Unrequited Love

Sometimes I like going through random YouTube videos and listening to songs that serve as inspiration for these columns. It could be something I hear on a random day. And on a particular Wednesday morning when the deadlines didn’t hurt so much, there was a song I heard and the message kind of made me think. And that was Yuna’s ‘Unrequited Love’.

For those who aren’t aware, an unrequited love is when you love someone so much, but they do not love you back. Just imagine you giving your all to a relationship, just for your partner to discourage everything you do. And sometimes it’s not even your fault. You try to forget and you try to walk away but there’s a strong force that keeps pulling you back.

“You are one with the waves, the warmth of the water, and your body moves in sync with the ocean and you try to stay afloat. And then you get tired and start to drown,” Yuna narrates in this song.

And it’s true. You feel so comfortable in this space, because love makes you feel like that. Love is like the blanket that is wrapped around you, it makes you feel so good that you don’t want to take it off. Until that blanket becomes too heavy and you’re forced to shed it. Then you realise that you aren’t complete. You’re hurt by this, but at some point, you figure out that the blanket was never meant for you. In a poetic sense, it’s like that.

But in reality, it’s not as flowery as it sounds. It’s painful and discouraging. Because here you are, spending a lifetime adoring someone who doesn’t even know your name. Or well, they probably would if you could muster the courage to say ‘hi’, but then, taking it further would only plunge you into a lifetime status of the friend zone. I know a few people like that, who adore someone from afar. And they watch their lives go past them because they’re too caught up with that person.

They say things like “he/she is the love of my life” or “I don’t know how to get over him/her”. And you really can’t blame them. The heart wants what it wants. But what do you do when the heart can’t get it? What do you do when the person you love is too busy loving someone else? Do you wait for them, which could be the equivalent of years? Do you spend your entire life wishing on a relationship that you know isn’t going to happen any time soon?

Instead of keeping these feelings in, you have to tell the person how you feel, even if you know that they don’t feel the same way about you. Stop holding back. Once you let it out, you’ll feel much better. And it doesn’t matter if rejection is their only answer.

That’s life. But remember, you have to learn how to let it go and not let it interfere with how you function. You’re missing out on so much because you want to force things that won’t happen. Give it some time. Love yourself instead and see where that leads you.

No one said it’s going to be easy. Sometimes it takes years before you can actually can say ‘I’ve fallen out of love with you’. Love is just like that. But perhaps there’s a lesson to learn. Maybe this unrequited love is preventing you from falling in love with the wrong people. Maybe it’s a way to make you stronger. You just never know with love.

– @MickeyNekomba on Twitter; Mickey Nekomba on Facebook

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