Turn Back Time

I am generally not one for regrets. I believe we learn from everything, especially our mistakes which should make us better, stronger and wiser. But the one thing I do regret is not spending enough time with my dad.

As is tradition, the whole family got together on Father’s Day to celebrate all the dads in the family. And while it was once again such a blessing to spend time with the greater family, I could not ignore the aching space in my heart that deeply missed the presence of my dad.

I was once again confronted with my regret at not knowing my father better. He passed away in 2013 and now it’s too late to make time for him.

I have come to understand that not making time for our parents and our loved ones is one of the most harmful things we can do – both to ourselves and them.

The most precious gift you can ever give to someone is time, love and attention.

Unfortunately this is a truth I came to terms with too late to implement in my relationship with my dad.

I wish I spent more time with him.

I wish I made an effort to listen to him more, and to gain from the wisdom he was clearly, overwhelmingly blessed with.

He was a fantastic man, not only to his family, but also to many who crossed his path.

One of the saddest things is that it sometimes feels like ‘outsiders’ knew my father better than I did. While I knew he was a man with a great heart and a soft spot for those who couldn’t help themselves – he would help when and wherever he could – what I did not comprehend was the magnitude of people he had a heartfelt and meaningful impact on during his life.

Only after my dad’s passing did I learn more about him from other people than what I did when he was still alive. And I realise now that my father was full of stories to tell; he had a wealth of wisdom which I greatly could have gained from had I only made more time.

It was also only after his passing that I learnt of the sacrifices my dad made for his children, for his wife and for his family. I was never really familiar with all the battles my father had to fight for the well-being of his family.

The most difficult thing to accept is learning what he stood for in life, how people perceived and experienced him, only after his death.

Dad and I had our differences and moments of disagreements but when I sit and think of him, and I look at myself I realise that we had so much in common.

Had I spent more time with my dad, I would have known and understood him better and I believe we would have had an even better relationship.

He was more than just a good man, with a heart full of passion for his wife, his family and others, he was a great man who touched hearts and brightened the world for many.

My father was one-in-a-million in heart and soul.

He was such a great example as a loyal and faithful husband to his wife – the love of his life; a father filled with love and passion for his children; true dedication to the happiness of his family, and the absolute definition of a true friend (many can attest to this).

This God-fearing man had more to him than I knew, and he was my father.

I realised this past Sunday how important it is for us to make time for the ones we love, and I encourage you gents, and ladies, to value your time with your parents, with your children, with your family. Make time for the ones you love.

How bittersweet is it to only discover how truly awesome someone was only after they are gone.

I wish I could turn back time, don’t let that be you.

Till next time, cheers

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