To Like or Not To Like?

There’s no doubt that we are living in a world of social media where information has become easier to access and to upload. More people are flocking to sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat to fill family, friends and followers in on their lives. And sometimes, this includes your ex.

For those who haven’t completely cut off connections with their exes, especially if the break up wasn’t a complete disaster, you might find their pictures and such on your timeline.

But if you find out that your partner was constantly liking and commenting on their ex’spictures, how would you feel about it?

asked readers…

“I don’t actually see any problem with that. As long as it is just commenting. Life is too short to be jealous over little things, plus a person who wants to cheat will just do it even without comments and likes,” Stefanus Auseb said.

In the journal , professor Lindsay Rodriguez found in a group study that over 90% of people still talk with their exes every few months, while only a small percentage of the group communicate several times in a week.

But is it normal to keep such a friendly relationship with an ex?

“It depends on the comments’ content. Just because people fell out of love and lust it does not mean they must be enemies,” Pearl Brown said. “Liking comments or pictures on Facebook is like passing by a person on the street and saying hello. It doesn’t mean they want each other back. I would worry if exes are ignoring each other. Then something is up.”

Bettie Ambabi shared the same sentiments. “Flirtatious comments would probably affect me but innocent comments wouldn’t shake me. In fact, he wouldn’t be with me if he still wanted to be with her. That’s why she is the ex. Trust and communication is the key in my relationship.”

And for Villenó SH, who felt trust was important too, it was fine for his partner to comment or like pictures. “Only the one who has something to lose will question that act; I should trust my partner enough to believe she knows what is right and wrong. If that is not the case, then I am in a relationship with the wrong person.”

Twitter users were also no stranger to the topic, with @KasaviMoses saying that it was not a problem either. “The only problem is when your partner starts to have a close relationship with their ex.”

@Mnghishekwa agreed by saying: “If he’s liking every other thing she posts, that’s a different story”. Although communication was fine, Tuhafeni Linus said that it really depends on what his partner said. “She can like or comment if she wants, I’m not a jealous man. But she must know what to comment, things that won’t give me a heart attack.”

Twitter user @mmadumethe also added to the topic: “It’s not always a problem, especially if there are no strings attached to the comments. It’s not always that an ex becomes an enemy”.

Not everyone is comfortable having their exes still in the picture. Some are known to cause trouble, deliberately rekindling a flame which a couple feel they cannot handle. And sometimes, it shows something a little bit more as Khaibasen Nauseb said: “It shows the obsession that the person still has for their ex. It symbolises that they are not entirely done with each other. It’s better to stay away from the ex’s Facebook accounts to avoid unnecessary arguments with the new love.”

And as Vaino Ndipolifa mentioned, the act simply causes way too much suspicion. “It can even lead your partner to being abusive in a sense that s/he will be puzzled by the fact that you two are still on good terms and that might cause him/her to control you about who you can talk to and who must not talk to,” he said.

“That is an indication of abusive behaviour in a relationship but it is caused by something so simple. You must only communicate with your ex when you have a baby, that is all. Commenting on your ex’s picture might cause your partner to become suspicious and lose trust in you and that is not good.”

Preferring to keep things safe, Kissie Juelz said that an ex is of the past. “Your new partner is for the present. It’s best if you both avoid those little things that will contaminate your partner’s thoughts. We’ve all been there and it’s easy to be tempted. Cut off all roots of the past.”

“It’s a big problem. It proves that they are still hooking up somehow and her feelings for him haven’t ended it must stop otherwise she must go and re kindle the love again,” Alan Ndjavera stated.

And Vanirty Mbako expressed the notion that where fire burned, ashes remain. “For my current partner to like the ex’s pictures and constantly comment is a big no-no. Sorry.”

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