This Christmas

Contrary to popular belief, the worst time to be single isn’t necessarily Valentine’s Day. Sure, couples bask in their love everywhere, and as is the norm, single people do what they do every day because it ‘doesn’t even matter’. Until it does. But that’s not the point. It’s almost Christmas time.

When it’s Christmas, you know it’s all about spending time with family. So you decide to go back to the village just to see how everyone is doing and probably work in the field while at it, have a good time, create more memories…

And then you’re asked the question everyone hates to hear: “So when are you going to start dating someone?” Because the lack of a partner on your arm during the occasion automatically means that you’re lonely, never getting married and there’s no prospect of you ever extending the family. You can hear the whispers in the wind somewhere, somehow: “Is he/she… cursed?”

But for the majority of your life, you’ve been told what a bad idea it is to date. “You should focus on your books,” they said. Suddenly, being ambitious, focused on your work, and not eager to date for the sake of dating is a problem. I mean, you could be doing the best ever – multiple degrees, a place to call your own, achievement after achievement where you’re hailed as a ‘hard worker’, etc, but that one question is always going to come back and bite you: Why aren’t you dating and why aren’t they being introduced to the family?

You don’t want to be rude – it’s not like that’s going to achieve anything anyway – but you just wish they’d stay out of your business. There is no timeline to love. Right? But in the back of your mind, you slowly but surely start to think: ‘Hey. I have a biological clock. And suddenly it’s ticking louder than ever before’.

Whether you like it or not, it haunts you a little bit. Because aunts and uncles who pry in every part of your life love to hear about the one child who has her life together, but simultaneously doesn’t, all because of a partner.

Sure, everyone wants to see you happy, but some are sly. Those are the ones you have to watch out for. Perhaps you’re told by a favourite sibling or cousin that ‘it doesn’t matter’ and ‘you should take your time’, but when every one of them starts getting married and you’re the only one left, then it’s going to be a problem.

And there’s always going to be that awkward void at the family gathering because everyone has a partner on their arm and you… well… don’t. Worse even when you are tasked to take care of all the children – you know, those ones whose pictures look cute on WhatsApp, but are rowdy and wild when you’re in their company.

Ah, the pleasures of a millennial. But at the end of the day, it’s really all about you. Don’t ever feel pressured into a relationship just because you don’t want other people to question you and your lifestyle.

Imagine getting married to someone you don’t even love. That must be absolutely miserable.

At the right time, you’ll fall in love. But life’s a gamble, you might not even end up married. It’s the reality people are afraid to face; not everyone has a wedding written in their life book.

Some are simply meant to ride the wave of life and carry out their purpose (whatever that may be). So don’t feel too bad this Christmas. Who knows, maybe your miracle is waiting in the new year.

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