Think About It

Africa came to a standstill recently when the story of Karabo Mokoena was shared on social media. The 22-year-old was allegedly killed and burnt by her boyfriend and this sparked an outrage.

Some sadly uninformed people asked this question: ‘What did she do?’ Why would you do that? Because someone deserves to be burnt and thrown into a dustbin? Really?

This just proves how many people have strayed far from the light of the Lord. Everything kamma has to be the woman’s fault. We need to start asking ourselves why. So many women are in abusive relationships and the first thing that gets asked when she is beaten is: ‘why did she provoke him?’ or ‘why did she even argue with him in the first place?’ and ‘Why didn’t she calm him down?’.

Or when a woman is raped, these questions come about: ‘What was she wearing to make him do that to her?’, ‘why was she walking in the street alone?’, ‘who told her to take a taxi at night?’.

This needs to stop!

No wonder so many of our women are scared. No wonder so many of our women refuse to trust men. The terrible murders, rapes, beheadings… we hear about them every day and every month and every year.

This madness needs to come to an end!

Before pointing fingers at women, can we discuss our men first? Why the need to rape when a woman refuses your advances? Why the need to prove how powerful you are just to get your way? Why does the word ‘no’ irk you so much? Why is it that the first reaction for you is to attack when you are rejected?

So many women have shared their stories – being beat up by their exes because they were seen with another man… Being beat up for asking questions, being kidnapped, stabbed or murdered just for existing…

Come on man. Imagine, there are still so many stories that aren’t told yet. Trauma is real.

A woman cannot walk alone any more and feel safe. Every time a man approaches her, her breathing speeds up, she becomes even more aware of her surroundings and she clutches her handbag tightly because she is no longer in a safe space. She has to watch out for men following her.

She has to watch out for groups of men approaching her. Even a random man on the street represents potential danger. Why? Do men not know how to control anger or urges? Women are not punching bags, who told you that they were? Women are not objects, slaves or your stress ball. Why is it so hard to understand the concept of respect? Do we need to remind men of their responsibilities again?

Stop treating our women like dirt and stop getting mad when it’s only your sister, aunt, mother, etc. Get angry at your fellow men. Educate them. Show them the light, drag them if you have to.

You’ve heard it so many times, it’s not easy being a woman. Respect that and respect will find you in turn. Anne Frank once said this: “Human greatness does not lie in wealth or power, but in character and goodness. People are just people, and all people have faults and shortcomings, but all of us are born with a basic goodness”.

So question yourself: Where is your morality? How can you get it back? What are you doing to be a protector rather than an abuser? What are you doing to be the caretaker? What are you doing to control your strength and use it for something positive? Think about it.

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