There are two memes I came across that I wish I had the wit to compose. That is part of the glory, stumbling across pieces of writing that move you or make you feel something and wishing that you had the wherewithal to compose something similar. You fail in the attempt, of course, but the real effort lies in the trying and along the way, you make something new.
Anyway, back to these two memes… I wish I had thought of them so I could use them in a column or at the start of a short story. They ring with the kind of deep and eternal truth writers covet so much.
The first meme said: “Short guys, being closer to hell and all, are bitter”.
I had to take a moment to collect myself. The absurdity of the claim, its genius, the composition – all of them rocked me to my foundations. Give them a Bell’s and a round of applause (I am finding out that ‘give the man a round of applause’ is actually a Namibian proverb).
The second meme read: “Namibian celebs will stare at you in the mall until you recognise them.”
I was more than tickled. I was finished. Totally. The keen observation, the cut-throat razor sharpness of the wit – that is the kind of literature that should be winning Man Booker prizes. Someone needs to track the meme composers down and give them book deals.
After reading those memes, I wish my day had ended right there and then, but it was only 08h30. I had to go through the rest of the day digesting this great and weighty wisdom.
I am tempted to say we need to give short guys a chance – I am certain they have some redemptive qualities, but on the other hand, we have gotten quite a bit of trouble out of them. I have this theory that the closer your brain is to your feet, the dumber you get. Which is why, for example, few smart things come out of meetings. Too many people sitting down and too many heads coming too close to their feet.
As for the budding celebrity culture, I have always found ‘Namibian celebrity’ to be oxymoronic. Like, really? I would like to know the metrics that qualify one to be a celebrity, especially when we are all broke and trying to pay mortgages with likes together. Quite simply, I have always found the exclusionary, distant, and aloof nature of celebrity culture to be detestable. The attending privilege is misplaced. Celebrity status, though, is an ideal many aspire to, misguided as it is.
Which is why that second tweet made me laugh. Namibians have found the best way to deal with upstart celebrities. You just have to bump into each other in the canned produce aisle of a local grocery store and stare at each other for a while. Then, when the tension becomes unbearable, when it is clear that no recognition and small lamb sacrifices will be forthcoming, you have to hit them with the good old, “Etche! Wat kyk jy?”
Remy Ngamije is a Rwandan-born columnist, essayist, short-story writer, poet, photographer and novelist. His debut novel ‘The Eternal Audience of One’ is available now.
– remythequill.com
