The Hurt

It has been the year of realising things, as Kylie Jenner so aptly stated on social media.

Indeed, our young brothers and sisters are in pain. We see this with depression, we see this in their behaviour and suddenly we’re deemed as problematic. But we’re not.

Here’s the thing: Our problems are showing and they are much deeper than we thought. You see in the news these days that 20-year-old men are attacking schoolgirls. Teenage pregnancy is rife in our communities. Anxiety is sky high. Depression is common and more people are expressing it.

We are a nation that needs help. We are a nation that needs to be there for each other. We are a nation that needs to look at the relationships we have with people and heal them, somehow. Wouldn’t you agree?

Women, for example, have taken much nonsense from men: Cheating scandals, abuse, violence…

It has always been there, covered up and thrown in a box, with the attitude that it will go away. But whatever is in that box manifests in our dreams and attitudes every day – and that’s why we pretend that we are just fine.

We pretend to smile with the public when inside, we are hurting. Men don’t want to release their emotions; they refuse to cry and speak to people about how they feel about certain situations. And later, this transforms into anger, where innocent people become the victims of senseless crimes.

You may think it’s funny to cheat – it’s really not. People hurt, cry and die over relationships, from their first loves to their marriages. It’s all there. I love quoting Drake on this: “I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.” And that cut stays there. It lingers in the back of your mind, although you want to push it back and pretend, but it’s right there and it’s time to accept that. It’s time to talk about it.

Say that you are hurt – there’s nothing wrong with that. We all want to be strong, but not realising that our pretentious smiles are what’s killing us inside is lethal. The hurt is real, guys.

That ex you think you don’t care about and keep convincing others that ‘you’re cool with’ – psh. Yeah, right. Everyone is probably looking through you because the more you convince them (and yourself) that you’re OK, the more you’re convinced you’re not. And these lies you’re telling yourself will consume you.

Unhealthy relationships exist and they affect us in ways that we cannot imagine. Your mind and your heart are two different things: They don’t always want to work the same way. So instead of all the pretense, I say heal your heart.

If it means having a conversation with your ex, the one who hurt you, and forgiving them for what they did, then do it. Not for their sake, but for yours.

Because life is too sacred, too precious to hold grudges and live your life in anger. Drowning yourself in alcohol, cutting yourself because of the negativity… all these things happen. And because I care, I don’t want you to fall into a sad space. I want you to be happy.

You deserve joy. You deserve to live your best life. So take the first step and talk to someone about your problems. Whether it’s your best friend, your family or even a psychologist, it’s OK to seek help. It’s OK to want to ease the pain. Go get ’em!

– @MickeyNekomba on Twitter;

Mickey Nekomba on Facebook

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