Solve It Strategies for Common Relationship Problems

It is rare for people in relationships to not experience disagreements on various things. If you identify what those relationship problems might be with time it is bound to be much easier to work out those issues.

Every relationship has its ups and downs and it is important to learn how to manage these problems and keep the love going.

sat down with gender activist Ngamane Karuaihe-Upi, also commonly known as Uncle GEP, to share some problem solving approaches to typical relationship issues for men.

On the lack of communication from men in relationships, Karuaihe-Upi dismissed this stereotype that men are not good when it comes to communicating in relationships. “We live in an environment where women are encouraged to be expressive. Men are taught to talk less and conditioned by society to be about action and be decisive. In the process, we get left behind in terms of being expressive,” said Karuaihe-Upi.

“Men are emotional too; they can cry and feel fear and rejection. Those emotions are not only reserved for women and children,” he said.

Karuaihe-Upi added that Namibia needs to create platforms where men will be taught to do away with old and less beneficial habits and learn how to communicate and be expressive with women and other men. “Men need to understand that being vulnerable is actually a point of strength,” he said, adding that just like there is the Olufuko festival for girls, there needs to be a similar festival for boys that will teach them what a boyfriend or husband is, what being a father entails as well as how to be responsible, providing and defending.

On money issues, Karuaihe-Upi mentioned that, money problems are not solved with money but a change in beliefs, activities and attitudes. Karuaihe-Upi believes if a couple is cohabiting it is pivotal to set rules of engagement in doing that.

“It is about having rules and terms of engagement that entails the negotiation you have where you agree on how you are going to take care of each other as a couple,” said Karuaihe-Upi.

Another element that brings about disagreements in a relationship is home chores, for this problem Karuaihe-Upi shared that couples should not assign certain chores to each other but rather share them. He believes assigning chores is a bad idea, because when you assign certain tasks to an individual, you imprison them with that assignment. “Assignment is not good, but doing it for a mutual benefit is better,” he said.

Adding to the conversation, musician Gazza said when it comes to home chores he does not struggle because it is shared accordingly. “We all fall in where the other falls short according to our availability or we make a plan but at the end of the day, the chores will be done,” said Gazza.

For couples that are not yet married, Gazza shared that it is important to plan a financial future together. “If you do not do it together then you are not committed, to many it is a sign of weakness and vulnerability but for me it is part of communication,” said Gazza.

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