Sacrificing Opportunities

They tell you they love you. They whisper sweet words into your ear. Heck, they even treat you right and make you believe that you’re the only one in the world.

Birds are chirping, the sun seems brighter than normal and you’re in this place believing that nothing is a challenge and everything is going to be all right.

Until one day, an opportunity comes around. It’s a chance to study somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. The scholarship letter reads: your chances have been successful. You couldn’t be happier. You get to study the course you’ve always dreamt of. Maybe it’s two years. Maybe it’s four. All you have to do is put your all into it and study as hard as you can.

But you realise one thing: you’d have to leave your perfect life behind, including your partner, and start a new chapter somewhere else.

Would you do it?

As usual, I was scrolling by on Twitter and I saw someone’s boyfriend turned down four scholarship opportunities to stayed by her side instead. I don’t know if it was true or not, but in my mind, I was just thinking about how stupid! Really.

Do you know how many of us are trying to get chances to study on scholarships?

And you’re leaving it all behind because of love? Come on! If someone loves you and I mean really loves you, they will never let you lose such an opportunity.

Because you’re supposed to want the best for your partner and should encourage them to fulfill their dreams, but some have the audacity to hinder their partners just because they can’t deal without a few cuddles every night?

Oh please!

We need to stop with this attitude of being so selfish that you’d prevent others from getting one step closer to reaching their goals. If your relationship can’t take a couple of years of long distance, then why are you still in it?

Why should you prevent yourself from getting that master’s degree (basically for free, for pity’s sake) just because you don’t want your partner to feel lonely? That’s ridiculous!

So many of us are fighting tooth and nail just to get a letter like that in our inboxes. And can I just say, especially for those who are planning on going abroad, how expensive it is to even think of travelling out of the country? Writing those international tests, collecting all your certified documents and scanning them, writing motivation letter after motivation letter just to convince people that you deserve another chance to study… It’s difficult!

I mean, even if you got a job in another country, a dream well-paying job with all the benefits that you can imagine… and you’re ready for it, but your partner is not… Situations like that irk me.

If you love each other, you’ll make a plan. It’s a challenge in the relationship yes, but no one said that commitment was easy. It requires sacrifices sometimes, not only to benefit yourself, but the people around you. And having a chance to get a better qualification means a lot.

Don’t be that person who derails your partner’s education. Because if you two break up one day, guess what? All the blame is going to fall right into your lap. “I never achieved ABC because of you!”

No one is trying to hear that.

So if you know what’s best for you, pave the way for your partner. And let them do what they have to do. And if they love you as they should, they’ll come back, and this time, things will be even better.

In an age of information overload, Sunrise is The Namibian’s morning briefing, delivered at 6h00 from Monday to Friday. It offers a curated rundown of the most important stories from the past 24 hours – occasionally with a light, witty touch. It’s an essential way to stay informed. Subscribe and join our newsletter community.