I’m feeling inspirational as I write, or, uhm, as you read, so I’ve taken it upon myself to create a humourous and well organised list of politically correct pointers on how to slay with your bae this winter.
Feeling down today? Read this. You’ll be smiling (or at least grinning halfway) by the end of this column. Consider me your comedian for the next seven minutes. Well, at least I assume that’s how long it takes to read this. Either way, let’s get on with it, people!
A spoon acts as a scoop. It removes the delicious tidbits of ice cream from the bottom of a foam cup so perfectly because it has magical powers we do not understand. Just as the spoon has an important role to play on the dinner table, so is its function in a relationship. Now, being the spoon is the easiest job in the world because all you have to do is lay in bed and receive all the warmth. Imagine all the benefits. Your back is covered by an actual human being and their arms are comfortably held around you. Winter is totally sorted because when the cold and uncomfortable wind blows through, guess who’s going to be on the receiving end? Definitely not you. So who will be the spoon this winter?
When the winds have come and the days no longer bring the warmth they once used to, you know it’s time to bring out the heavy artillery stashed somewhere in the back of the closet. It is the season of Uggs, hoodies, that sweater you forgot about but suddenly need and even the uneven number of socks you have (because they keep getting lost) reappear on the front lines and are ready to fight fires with you during winter. But note this, men: At some point during the next couple of months, you are going to have to surrender a favourite hoodie/jacket because you know you love your partner and you would never let them freeze (even though you have heavily contemplated it). When will you get your precious item back, you ask? Hahahaha! Your enthusiasm is funny!
One of the most important things you should know without asking your partner is: How many spoons of sugar do you like in your coffee/tea? Instead, you should replace it with: ‘Do you want me to make you coffee/tea?’ Feel the question. Understand the question. Embrace the question. The kitchen is going to be your happy place this winter. It will be the area where you reflect on quantity and quality as the smell of hot beverages attack your nose. Daily. As you prepare for winter’s arrival, bring out the precious mugs. Stock up on hot chocolate if you can. Pick the lemons from the tree in your backyard in preparation. When it’s just you and your partner cozying up with or without the children during the cold weekends, you’ll be smiling when you remember this!
Date night at home? No problem. A night out at a quiet restaurant? Also cool. Volunteering at a homeless shelter together? That’s the spirit. Point is, connect. Dismiss the demon that is the cellphone which has become more important to you than face to face communication and replace it with someone better. Your person. Facing some challenges together and doing some couple stuff this winter should be the goal. It’s a cold season, but it doesn’t mean ya’ll have to be that way towards each other! It’s the season of togetherness and casually waking up a few minutes before the alarm but looking into each other’s eyes and appreciating that there’s someone there to love you forever. Even through the coldest winter.
