Rambler

Having survived the onslaught of the agents of darkness, increasingly obvious dementia and backbreaking work, Rambler brought readers of The Weekender his usual brand of sidesplitting social commentary each week. Could this be his last hurrah?

2012 was… A moegoe of a year. Glad I can shake the dust of that bitch off my feet.2013 will be… Who knows? Who cares? The world ends today! What’s the last thing you’ll do? Run up to the nearest politician and just stare at him from close range as I am opening and closing my okapi while wearing my most insane grin. Three items you’ll never leave the home without?My Bible, my bigotry and my judgement!Wet your pants moment?ministerjerryekandjo@gmail.comOpen mouthed moment?The youth, the generals and the congress and how it all ended.Weirdest moment?I wallow in weird everyday so my weirdar is off. Oh, maybe the night I broke into a house and wanted to steal some clothes. Unfortunately it was Jacques Mushandja’s house. It was even weirder than seeing him wearing 1980s style jelly shorts in town. Nogal a yellow one with red trimming.Most inspiring moment/person?Jesus! Seriously? Why the lame questions? So, who’s the Rambler?I’m your daddy’s love child with the maid. You do not want to know me. I’m coming for your inheritance!Biggest news story of the year?Hage’s resurrection, warts and all. The biggest story missed by the media is probably how irrelevant Parliament really is.Trailblazer of the year?A man named Nevonga! He managed to; screw their Namibia Airports Company members, in cahoots with the company management, out of half their monthly salaries; quash any debate or queries about the missing GIPF millions; ran a sham congress (two years late) and got re-elected and showed no interest in any accountability towards the members. All this in a year. Give that man a Bells! Proudly Namibian moment?Home Affairs running out of passports. That’s what we do in Namibia. Worst fashion trend/accessory?Being a tribalistic stupid, hungry buffoon.Comeback of the year?SPYL! LMAO! Best event attended?National Cultural Festival. I still have some of those vetkoeke and matangara that I couldn’t sell there. You can get them at half prize. No, who told you they are old? Maybe I should just sell them to Tre.Worst rumour about you?That Rambler is a white Oshiwambo speaking schizophrenic, transvestite, drug addicted DTA member with communist tendencies.