Puff n Pass on WhatsApp Groups

Have you ever wondered why you see the same video clip or meme across 10 different WhatsApp groups within the span of an hour? It’s like a virtual game of “puff n pass” and you’re the unwitting recipient of the same zol multiple times. Suddenly, you’re convinced you hold the collective knowledge of the entire nation.

Before I proceed, know that I am not against social media. I like it when it shows Michael Amushelelo begging for funds to take his wife on a cruise, followed by another clip where the same mister rants on about how his money is for him and him only. That was entertaining for sure.

However, I have a problem with so many WhatsApp groups that in the end leak everywhere, like their bottoms’ sphincters are on strike.

Then there are those brave souls who love to share the same content even when it has been shared five times just above his on the timeline. Please explain the excitement of just pressing send without looking to see that we have enough of your crap. What are you, stupid?

Now, let’s consider this: What if, just what if, it’s not the whole of Namibia online, but merely 5% of the population who are constantly plugged into the digital maze? They’ve convinced themselves that they are the gatekeepers of all things Namibian, while the rest of the country is blissfully unaware, living their lives offline.

The way audio and video clips leak from one group to another is like living in an Otjomuise apartment with paper-thin walls. You can’t help but overhear your neighbours’ not-so-subtle secrets, just as you can’t escape the tide of noise from one group, landing squarely in another.

It makes me wonder why we can’t just merge all the WhatsApp groups and allocate time slots for different topics and interests? You know, like a virtual conference where we’re all given a turn to talk about our cats and favourite conspiracy theories. We can appoint one known as “Kafu kaNamibia” as the only admin.

And speaking of conspiracies, have you ever noticed that there’s a recurring cast of characters in all these groups? It’s like they have a VIP pass to every virtual party in town. Same people, same topics, same lame jokes, and the same cat videos that we’ve all seen a million times. It’s as if they’ve collectively agreed that the digital world revolves around them, and they’re here to entertain us with their brilliant insights (or not).

Now, let’s talk about the great escape artists, those who would dodge those annoying members jumping to another group, only to find that those very members are now the administrators of their new sanctuary. It’s like trying to run away from your shadow. Wherever you go, it follows, and in this case, it talks a lot.

And don’t even get us started on the WhatsApp voice notes. Who declared that they should be limited to a strict two-minute duration? What traffic law stipulates the length of a voice note, or did someone just decide that we’re all too lazy to listen to anything longer? It’s like the unwritten law of Namibian WhatsApp, right up there with “Thou shalt not send voice notes longer than you can hold your breath”.

I am amazed by the wonderful world of Namibian WhatsApp groups, where every meme is a masterpiece, every voice note a symphony and every shared video clip a revelation. A world where we merge and emerge, share and overshare, and laugh at the same joke a thousand times because in the digital realm, repetition is king.

Who needs variety when you can have the same content, over and over again, delivered to your screen in perfect synchrony?