Pride In The Way

Arguments are the worst, especially when you know that whatever you did is your fault. You feel bad, yet you argue back anyway so that you can have some kind of dominance over the situation.

And so it goes, you decide not to speak for a while and then there’s a burning hole in your stomach when you realise that you want to show a funny meme to your partner, but then you remember, you’re not speaking.

So when do you finally swallow your pride and text back?

When is that ‘aha!’ moment that makes you push aside your differences and apologise? Because it’s hard to apologise, it really is.

‘Sorry’. That word is avoided like the plague.

Some even go to the extent of not saying it at all, so they’re forced to buy you flowers, gifts or whatever, and an apologetic note, instead of personally coming forward and coming out with the words ‘I’m so sorry’.

What’s up with that?

I’m not even sure if it’s an African thing, because parents and ‘sorry’? Not a thing.

Sure, actions speak louder than words, but didn’t you know that words are sweeter to the ear?

Here’s the thing about pride: it’s a problem. And instead of being honest with yourself because you’re trying so hard to be macho, you’re caught up in this world where don’t want to look vulnerable.

Listen. It’s OK to be vulnerable. Yes, you too, men. We’re human. We’re not robots with settings. We are allowed to cry. We are allowed to be sad. We are allowed to be wrong. It doesn’t make you any weaker.

Also, we can’t get everything right. You’re going to fail to do something at one point. That’s just life. That’s the way it goes.

Yeah, sure, Beyoncé said that she loves a man with a big ego, but when that ego hurts someone else, then what happens? It is said that pride is one of the seven deadly sins. And there’s a reason for that: it’s one of those things that causes mayhem in a relationship.

So.

Solutions.

Are there any?

Well, just go ahead and say sorry. First of all. If you find it too weird to do it face-to-face, a simple text will have to do. Admit that you were wrong.

It’s something you need to get off your chest, otherwise you’ll never get through your problems.

They do get worse, I’m just saying. If you can’t handle being wrong, then you’re in for a bumpy ride, that’s for sure.

But more important than saying you’re sorry, is showing it and meaning it. Many times people want to see effort rather than hear empty words.

You want to work for this relationship, right? Then do it.

You love your partner, right? Then show it.

These days, it’s so easy for people to believe that they’re not loved. In a society that relies on social media, you’re going to see pictures of people sharing their anniversary moments and you’re just going to be stuck there like: ‘uh wait, there was an anniversary?’

Make as much of an effort as you can and work for the relationship. I’m sure you’ve heard it all before: it’s not easy. But in the words of the elders, the biggest thing that should overcome the relationship is love.

Because once you love, everything else falls into place. And that’s the magic of relationships. So be the better person. Don’t let pride get in the way.

– Mickey Nekomba on Facebook;

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