Passion Killing, Suicide and Love

One of the questions asked by society is: What tribe is involved in ‘passion killing’ or commits suicide the most? The response is usually that it’s the Aawambo.

Rarely are there Hereros, Caprivians, Coloureds, etc. Why is that? Most say Hereros have a lot of options – the ‘tjiramues’ (cousins) are added to the equation, Caprivians say “it is what it is” (a don’t-care attitude), while Coloureds and others hurt for months but eventually move on.

Some say it’s loving a partner too much that leads to such actions. Yet really, it’s a wound on a person’s self-esteem.

The Aawambo people are obviously the largest community to pin this on, just like any social contradictions in stereotypes that are assumed on any other tribe.

There are many reasons for every suicide and passion killing. It’s both an act of killing; the difference is that one inflicts harm on one’s self while the other inflicts harm on another human.

The killings all come from circumstances, feelings, pain, embarrassment and rejection. Unfortunately, humans handle disappointment differently. To some people, pain only accumulates in their minds instead of them accepting and solving it as it arises.

Consequently, a suicidal human thinks of every pain to inflict on themselves and when another person adds on the hurt while at their lowest, they feel a complete loss of control. Therefore, they cause their own deaths or hurt someone else.

We often say over-loving oneself is not a good thing. We call these people narcissistic because they have drowned in love with themselves. Yes, sometimes they are selfish, but this type of behaviour was taught at a young age. These people learnT to love themselves this way.

Let’s look at it this way: The hurt we all go through is usually caused by other people or circumstances, but if you evaluate your hurt and see it as circumstance that can go away, even if it takes a long time, it will help. The most important thing is to genuinely love and accept yourself deeply. Want the best for yourself without comparison.

Once you reach this kind of love, everything else that couldn’t be solved has less significance in your life.

Suama Esperanca Tjiwemu is a student at the University of Sunderland in the United Kingdom. Email her at semtjiwemu@gmail.com.

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