Namibia’s ‘Free’Public Services

Namibia is about to enter a bold new era.

An era where everything is ‘free’ … except it’s not.

It’s the same era we’ve always been in, just with better PR.

Didn’t we have bursary grants for “national priority fields of study” and loan bursaries for the rest already? Well, how is it free if it is the same thing?

The rebranding team deserves a bonus, though, really. I mean, who knew changing one word could make Namibia sound like Scandinavia? Is it the “ia” at the end of the country’s name?

Free tertiary education, ti? A recent announcement has declared, cue the vuvuzelas, that tertiary education will be ‘free’ in Namibia. Yes, comrades. FREE. Gratis. Mahala. Lekker. Sounds revolutionary, until you read the fine print . . . or just remember the last time someone said that.

Remember the days of primary and secondary education being declared ‘free’? Parents heard the announcement on NBC and immediately tossed their wallets in the air.

They marched to schools smiling, only to be met by what I call the ‘Contribution Committee’. That’s when it got awkward.

“Oh no, madam, we don’t charge school fees any more. We just ask for a voluntary contribution of N$1 500 per term. No pressure. But your child can’t get the report card if you don’t pay.”

Voluntary my foot.

Namibia’s rebranding strategy is really quite innovative: Take something people are already paying for, slap on a new name, and sell it as a blessing. It’s like repackaging tap water in a bottle and calling it ‘Glacier Essence’. The kids call it gaslighting. Our government calls it governance.

Now back to tertiary education. Here’s the official line: “Free tertiary education will be aligned to the needs and demands of the country’s key sectors.”

Translation: Only students in ‘priority fields’ will get it for ‘free’.

So, if you wanted to study rocket science, interpretive dance, or underwater basket-weaving, good luck. But if the education ministry decides the country needs 600 more accountants this year, congratulations. You’ve got a shot at this mysterious ‘freedom’.

Then we have too many accountants just like we have too many half-baked nurses.

So, what happens to the rest of the students? Well, nothing new. They’ll still apply to the Namibia Students Financial Assistance Fund (NSFAF) or whatever it will now be called under the other roof, still probably need two points, still chase after lost documents from their Grade 11 biology teacher, and will still get told “your loan was approved but go ahead and pay and we will refund you after Jesus comes back”.

But hey, the headlines will say ‘Namibia Rolls Out Free Tertiary Education’.

Let me take you further down memory lane. The same thing happened with agricultural subsidies. There was an initiative called ‘Free Seed Distribution’.

I remember an uncle in the village who went with high hopes. He came back with a five-kilogram bag of maize and a receipt.

“Apparently it’s free,” he said. “But I had to pay a ‘processing fee’.”

I told him: “Processing fee is how they say ‘not free’ in politics.”

Alright, you caught me. I made that last bit up.

Namibia is truly the land of euphemisms. We don’t have ‘taxes’, we have ‘development levies’.

We don’t have ‘a broken healthcare system’, we have ‘patients encouraged to bring their own mattresses and blankets’.

And now, we don’t have ‘Nasfaf’, we have ‘targeted free education’.

Let’s call it what it is: means-tested, sector-bound, conditionally accessible, partially deferred, occasionally delivered freedom.

Rolls right off George Carling’s tongue.

And this is not to say free education isn’t a noble idea, it absolutely is. But so is time travel or going to the sun at night when the oven is off. We’re just not quite there yet.

If we said “we’re building towards making higher education free, starting with prioritised sectors”, we could respect the honesty. But we prefer drama: “It is FREE from next year!”

Cue applause. Cue budget debates. Cue awkward silence from the universities which were definitely not consulted. But then again, these universities are just like ‘kambashus’, they will pretend not to know what is going on.

And what about the kids currently paying off NSFAF loans from 2008? Will they be reimbursed? Will their loans be written off? Or will they just be told “shame, wrong generation”?

In Namibia, free doesn’t mean ‘without cost’.

It means “you probably won’t be billed directly, unless we change our minds, which we will, and you’ll still pay somehow”.

Maybe what we really need is a Ministry of Honest Branding.

Its job? To translate all government announcements into the truth.

Examples:

“Free education” – “Some education may be discounted under certain conditions.”

“Universal healthcare” – “Bring your own supplies and hope for the best.”

“Youth empowerment” – “Another motivational speech and a workshop with no snacks.”

At this rate, don’t be surprised when you see headlines like:

‘Namibia Launches Free Housing Scheme – Families Must Just Bring Their Own Bricks’

Or:

‘Namibia Introduces Free Electricity – Just Pay Connection Fees, Usage Charges, the REDs and Admin Costs’

In conclusion, my dear fellow Namibians, let us celebrate our government’s gift for optimism and optical illusions.

Just remember, if it walks like a loan, talks like a loan, and takes 20 years to pay back … it’s not free.

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