Let’s talk about sex …cult South African director shatters taboos

CAPE TOWN – The women range from their late teens to their sixties.

Some are Muslim, some Christian. Some look like hippies and some are business executives.Black and white, they are all talking about sex.Irreverent filmmaker Jo Menell’s latest offering, aptly called ‘Shag’, is a 30-minute collage of South African women candidly discussing intimacy.”It is about giving a voice to women,” Menell, 69, told AFP about his documentary project.The film wants to encourage women to take control of their sex lives as a way of curbing the spread of AIDS in a country with one of the world’s heaviest caseloads, he said.”It is about empowering women to begin to take the reins of their own lives and sexuality.And it is about showing men that by communicating, the sex is better,” added Menell who gained cult status in the 1990s for his movie about penises, ‘Dick’.Director of the Oscar-nominated biographical film “Mandela, Son of Africa, Father of a Nation”, Menell returned to his birth country just over a year ago after about 20 years in the United States.Once there, he said, he wanted to make a documentary on AIDS.”The more I looked into it the more depressed I became.The epidemic is out of control, yet you have a government that is obstructive at best and criminal at worst.””Masses” of money was being thrown at the problem, and the country had “NGOs galore”, said Menell.Yet an essential point was being missed.”A lightbulb lit in my head.I realised that AIDS is about sex, about men and women.And this is a country where women have very little rights over their own bodies.”The women in the film, about 25 in all, don’t shy away from topics considered taboo in many of their communities, including masturbation, sex toys, anal and oral sex, pornography, and group sex.”We as a society don’t talk about sex,” a thirty-something woman told the camera.”But as women, we talk about sex all the time.And we talk about everything to do with sex.”Some of the women introduced themselves by their first names, but most were never identified.The majority said they were left in the dark on the topic by their parents and described their first experiences as painful and shocking.”Sex in my family did not exist, I think it still doesn’t,” said a woman in her 30s who later confides having had group sex with three men.To get started, Menell placed a newspaper advertisement for women to talk about sex on camera and got more than 100 volunteers.He filmed them chatting among themselves over a glass of wine, a coffee or a cigarette, contemplating anything from penis size to masturbation.”It is absolutely taboo in Islam.But …c’est la vie,” said a Muslim woman on the latter topic.A twenty-something talked of enjoying anal sex as her companions giggle shyly.”A friend bought me a vibrator for my last birthday,” related another.”It is great.My boyfriend was very unimpressed, I might say.He felt completely threatened.He never wanted me to touch it.”The women discussed the intricacies of oral sex and shared advice on “techniques” to prevent premature ejaculation.One woman, about sixty, told the camera: “I’ve been involved in threesomes a couple of times,” to the astonishment of her companions.Several had been violated by a partner or family member, and many knew men who refused to wear condoms.”The system under which we are ruled allows men to have unfettered access to our bodies,” philosophised one.”Women are taught to be passive.If they show they are enjoying sex, they will be called whores.”But some women are changing all that.”When you start thinking like a man you start enjoying sex more, because you have the power,” one told the camera.”You can decide yes, now, today this way that way and not feel guilty about it.”Another proclaimed as the credits roll: “I’ve discovered the best reason for being a woman — and that’s multiple orgasms!”Nampa/AFPSome look like hippies and some are business executives.Black and white, they are all talking about sex.Irreverent filmmaker Jo Menell’s latest offering, aptly called ‘Shag’, is a 30-minute collage of South African women candidly discussing intimacy.”It is about giving a voice to women,” Menell, 69, told AFP about his documentary project.The film wants to encourage women to take control of their sex lives as a way of curbing the spread of AIDS in a country with one of the world’s heaviest caseloads, he said.”It is about empowering women to begin to take the reins of their own lives and sexuality.And it is about showing men that by communicating, the sex is better,” added Menell who gained cult status in the 1990s for his movie about penises, ‘Dick’.Director of the Oscar-nominated biographical film “Mandela, Son of Africa, Father of a Nation”, Menell returned to his birth country just over a year ago after about 20 years in the United States.Once there, he said, he wanted to make a documentary on AIDS.”The more I looked into it the more depressed I became.The epidemic is out of control, yet you have a government that is obstructive at best and criminal at worst.””Masses” of money was being thrown at the problem, and the country had “NGOs galore”, said Menell.Yet an essential point was being missed.”A lightbulb lit in my head.I realised that AIDS is about sex, about men and women.And this is a country where women have very little rights over their own bodies.”The women in the film, about 25 in all, don’t shy away from topics considered taboo in many of their communities, including masturbation, sex toys, anal and oral sex, pornography, and group sex.”We as a society don’t talk about sex,” a thirty-something woman told the camera.”But as women, we talk about sex all the time.And we talk about everything to do with sex.”Some of the women introduced themselves by their first names, but most were never identified.The majority said they were left in the dark on the topic by their parents and described their first experiences as painful and shocking.”Sex in my family did not exist, I think it still doesn’t,” said a woman in her 30s who later confides having had group sex with three men.To get started, Menell placed a newspaper advertisement for women to talk about sex on camera and got more than 100 volunteers.He filmed them chatting among themselves over a glass of wine, a coffee or a cigarette, contemplating anything from penis size to masturbation.”It is absolutely taboo in Islam.But …c’est la vie,” said a Muslim woman on the latter topic.A twenty-something talked of enjoying anal sex as her companions giggle shyly.”A friend bought me a vibrator for my last birthday,” related another.”It is great.My boyfriend was very unimpressed, I might say.He felt completely threatened.He never wanted me to touch it.”The women discussed the intricacies of oral sex and shared advice on “techniques” to prevent premature ejaculation.One woman, about sixty, told the camera: “I’ve been involved in threesomes a couple of times,” to the astonishment of her companions.Several had been violated by a partner or family member, and many knew men who refused to wear condoms.”The system under which we are ruled allows men to have unfettered access to our bodies,” philosophised one.”Women are taught to be passive.If they show they are enjoying sex, they will be called whores.”But some women are changing all that.”When you start thinking like a man you start enjoying sex more, because you have the power,” one told the camera.”You can decide yes, now, today this way that way and not feel guilty about it.”Another proclaimed as the credits roll: “I’ve discovered the best reason for being a woman — and that’s multiple orgasms!” Nampa/AFP

In an age of information overload, Sunrise is The Namibian’s morning briefing, delivered at 6h00 from Monday to Friday. It offers a curated rundown of the most important stories from the past 24 hours – occasionally with a light, witty touch. It’s an essential way to stay informed. Subscribe and join our newsletter community.

The Namibian uses AI tools to assist with improved quality, accuracy and efficiency, while maintaining editorial oversight and journalistic integrity.