Is Long-Term Marriage Just a Dream?

It was a wonderful time to dream for millennials. Love, marriage, lavish weddings, owning decent property one day and having a stable job… It used to be everything that you ever wanted. Now, that dream has shattered.

Cheating scandals are everywhere, the economy is in a mess and many people are finding it difficult to grab and hold onto love. Relationships are breaking apart and because of these stories, millennials are being put off by the prospect of marriage. They claim that they want to have a good time, without the worry of whether their partner is faithful or not. For some people it may work. But this contributes to the low statistics of marriage and the high statistics of divorce. Not to forget, two years ago, The Namibian reported that divorce was one of the main societal problems in the country. Does this mean that long-term marriages are but a dream?

Noa Ya Noahab said no. “If they are in a committed relationship, they can.” Facebook user The Executive Kid had a similar opinion. “If you are going to take on a thing as serious as marriage at such a tender age, you should really be sure about the person you are going to marry because marriage requires a deep connection on a large scale and several things play a role. You need finance and a system that works over the long term. Love and finance go hand-in-hand.”

In terms of finance, experts say that it is a troubling time indeed.

One such example is the issue of housing. According to a report by the National Youth Council of Namibia (NYCN) based on a document by the United Nations, “Housing finance is now perceived not only as a tool for promoting access to adequate housing but also as critical to the development of the financial sector, and has become a central pillar of the financial market, expanding the terrain for global capital”.

But with the economy being the way it is… it could call for troubling times – which eventually leads to individuals relying on their partners to sustain them. However, is love involved?

Jona Musheko felt long-term marriage for millennials is possible, despite the odds. “Why wouldn’t they? Marriage is more about mental maturity (amongst others) than age. I have met young couples in their 20s yet they are doing well. We should delink maturity from age. For instance, you would mostly find men in their 40s but they are not yet mature enough to settle down in marriage, still playing hide and seek with young girls while they are supposed to be fathers.”

Shona Ngava disagreed, mentioning the issue of lovers. “At 20, most of us wouldn’t be able to handle marriages. We need to be ready psychologically, financially and just in general. Your average 20-year-old guy is still going through a lot of relationships. He usually thinks of settling down at an older age. Marriage comes with a lot of responsibility and maturity as well as sacrifice.” And again, marriage involves finances.

Mercy Chiruvo encouraged millennials to wait. “Twenty is the right age for failures. It is only noble for a person to pursue their career before jumping into marriage. Marriage comes with responsibilities and challenges that are not worthy of being experienced by inexperienced 20-year-olds.”

Bustle.com said that millennials are starting to view marriage in their own ways: LGBTI+ marriages are more common than ever, the age of marriage is slightly shifting from the early 20s to the early 30s and alternative marriages (consensually non-monogamous relationship) are on the rise.

And with these options available, Fillipe Cellor said that long-term marriages are still possible as there is no rush. “Why not!? That’s the time of maturity where you can live on your own, but not under somebody. As long as you’re honest with your partner then nothing will stop you. Unless you are poor.”

Erasmus Araseb brought out some biblical statements: “According to the Bible, we are wonderfully and fearfully made, we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. On that note, a 20-year-old can handle long-term marriage provided they get proper guidance and counselling”. Andrew Shatimwene had a similar opinion. “They can if they are willing to communicate and learn from their mistakes. Pastors and social workers are there to give them counselling.”

Love may be beautiful to millennials, but everyone views it their own way. Suzy Eises said: “It really depends on who the person is and what they value, but it’s definitely possible. I’ve been taught from a very young age, from nine to be exact, the importance of loyalty, trust and marriage, but also how to deal with problems and issues so that companionships may work to last. So it’s possible”.

Happy Mathews concluded with these words: “It’s not really about age. I mean if two people love each other and they believe they can get together, it’s definitely possible. It’s mostly based on maturity and love, not age. If they value/respect themselves and their love well, they can be married forever”.

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