A friend posted a few questions on Twitter months ago, and since I write so much and 140 characters isn’t enough, I decided to share my answers with you here. Just a little honesty in a world full of lies.
Who were your relationship role models when you were younger? What was their relationship like?
It’s silly but the relationships I admired were always fictional because I felt more attached to them. So it would be Stefan and Elena’s relationship in ‘The Vampire Diaries’. I’ve never felt as connected to a couple as I did with them. Their relationship was simple – he loved her, she loved him… He was a sweet guy, and he cared so much… he was always the good guy. I love the good guys. With a streak of bad in them though…
In an African sense… well, most of the books we always read were about women being abused by their men. You see that in ‘Things Fall Apart’, you see that in ‘The Purple Violet of Oshaantu’… you know? And so, I didn’t see myself in a relationship like that.
What are the similar characteristics that you tend to attract?
Romance. I think all the people I’ve been attracted to were somehow romantic and just into me as much as I was into them. And they’re musical. I guess that’s my pattern. Love and music. Poetic, right? There’s something about it that just makes you want to live in the moment.
What type of people do you tend to gravitate towards?
Obviously if I think you’re attractive, I’ll take an interest in you. But my heart is picky – it knows what kind of person is for me. But I’ve come to realise that it has been people who are… ‘broken’. People who have issues in the past and who have changed, but those issues tend to make a comeback when I’m around. It’s so weird. Not that it’s a good thing, because some things, I guess I can deal with. Though, I can only take so much.
How much do you love and respect yourself?
So much. And because of this, I will not stay in a toxic relationship. I don’t even want to imagine what it’s like, being in a place where someone is dragging you down into an infinite abyss where no one can find you. And then you cling onto the edges of your mind, hanging on for dear life and hoping someone is going to save you from the misery ahead.
I think I deserve better. Don’t we all? Because at the end of the day, we’re all looking for happiness.
Who do you want to be in your ideal relationship?
It’s so hard to say, because this perfection that we’re looking for isn’t realistic. But if someone could love me more, treat me with respect, then I believe we can take things from there. Because I will do my utmost best to treat you the same. And with those things firmly rooted in the relationship, everything else will easily fall into place.
What improvements would you like to make within yourself in order to attract your ideal partner?
I can’t change myself for my partner. If they do not like me for who I am, then really, what’s the point? Unless it was a habit I find annoying myself. Like being late or something. That I can change. But being ‘prettier’ for this person, forgetting about my friends… you can’t mould me into your version of perfection. Just take me as I am.
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