Dating in the Workplace

Office romances have always sparked controversy.

Whether in the bid to secure a successful job position – like the plot to a television series – or simply a true act of love despite the circumstances, everyone gets into an office romance for different reasons.

About 80% of the day is spent with colleagues whom you share secrets, laughs and difficult work assignments with, so it is natural to advance towards romantic urges in the workplace.

Swamped with a million things to do, it is more likely that your colleagues would understand your work pressures and schedules, eliminating the need for partners on the outside to constantly clash with you over your free time.

According to forbes.com, “most researchers believe there are three primary motivating factors behind dating someone at work: Love, ego and a job – and that how or whether colleagues accept an interoffice couple depends on what they view as the motivations behind it”. Whether it’s the exciting thrill of keeping a romance quiet, or simply that the act of falling in love at work is bliss, the pros and cons are evident.

When Love is in the Air

The advantages of workplace romances are plenty, as explained by Indilieni Mutota, a human resources practitioner. “Spending a lot of time with your partner helps you to get to know each other well. And you get a feel for their intelligence, personality and work ethic – this can create a type of chemistry that could lead to something more. You won’t be worried what he/she is up to as you are in touch all the time so texting and calling won’t be necessary.”

Personal growth is the main aim for many people, especially young professionals who are eager to make a name for themselves in whatever industry they are in.

Hence, growing together as a couple professionally is just another stimulating way to build up the relationship positively.

Some people live for the excitement of a workplace relationship – kisses here and there, meetings in private corners of the office, and simply being around each other is motivation enough to get up and go to work. Even out of work, you are able to correspond with each other about what goes on at work, giving even more reason to know your partner on a deeper, professional level.

However, this is just the flowery side of the relationship – there is more to it.

The Bad

Mutota said that workplace relationships can turn ugly quite fast. “Supervisor/employee office romances can lead to sexual harassment. The subordinate could claim that they are feeling pressured to continue the relationship out of fear of losing their job. As a supervisor dating a subordinate, you may run into issues as well. For example, you, as a supervisor, and the person you are dating suddenly believes they no longer have to work as hard or even do their job at all. Normally, you would reprimand the person but considering the relationship, your hands are now tied.”

It can be quite an awkward situation when rumours spread about you in the office, giving your colleagues plenty to gossip about. Some are really invested in workplace relationships and this may give you somewhat of a bad image. “If it doesn’t work out, you still have to see your ex and work with him/her every day. This can be hard on the person who ended the relationship. It can lead to poor performance, increased absenteeism, workplace drama and a possible hostile work environment,” Mutota concluded.

Hopefully the person you are interested in is also not in a committed relationship otherwise it may cause problems, both externally and internally.

“At the beginning when I joined the company, everyone was really cold to me and I hadn’t expected that because I thought it would be a great environment,” Jessica Katiti*, said. “Wrong. Fast-forward a couple of months later, Marcus* was introduced to us as the head of our division and he was a genuinely nice guy. Then we ended up together, and colleagues chastised me because they thought I was using him to ‘climb the ladder’. When we broke up, it got so bad, I had to quit.”

Although Jason Titus* never had a workplace relationship, he said it was probably for the best. “I used to go to the gents room when I had the ‘addiction’ and sometimes, seeing workmates who dressed sexily made me think too much.”

The law doesn’t say anything in particular about office romances, the company itself has to establish the rules of what goes on in a relationship.

Although it may be allowed, you may want to consider the good and the bad before pursuing your colleague and take the necessary precautions.

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