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Best Wishes, World Peace and Tough Truths

First things first: Let me take this golden opportunity to wish you a merry Christmas, happy new year, happy birthday (whenever it is), happy Independence Day, happy Genocide Day (Namibia, we see you), happy Heroes Day, Women’s Day, and any other random day society has declared a holiday.

Oh yes, I have not forgotten about your anniversary of whatever it is you got yourself tangled in. Let’s just call it Anniversary Day to keep things broad. All protocol observed.

Now for some generic goodwill. I wish you good health, prosperity and all the blessings 2025 could throw your side, even though we both know my well-meaning words will not really affect your fate. But hey, I tried.

My condolences, too, for whatever loss 2025 may bring you. No, I’m not being pessimistic, just realistic. Life has a way of serving us plot twists faster than a Namibian taxi driver’s sudden U-turn on the B2 highway.

You know what? I’m not usually one for all this sentimental noise. The cheesy messages people peddle around this time of year make my skin crawl like I’ve just walked barefoot over porcupine quills. But unfortunately, societal norms demand participation.

So here I am, tossing out pleasantries like confetti at a wedding I’d rather not attend. This isn’t for me, by the way, it’s for you. That way, when we cross paths and you hit me with the “Why didn’t you wish me a happy [insert occasion here]?” guilt trip, I can point you to this masterpiece. My conscience is squeaky clean. Consider this a one-size-fits-all message for the ages.

Let’s talk resolutions. The noble art of lying to oneself in early January. I’m sure you’ve already drafted your list, ready to proudly announce it at the family meeting. Do yourself a favour and toss it in the bin.

You see, I don’t do resolutions, and I certainly don’t care for other people’s lists of unattainable goals. If you’re serious about doing something, you’ll just do it. No fanfare, no Facebook post, no dramatic declarations about “new year, new me”. Action speaks louder than words, as they say, and I’m not your wish list filer.

Let your results do the talking. Besides, your life is not a group project. Keep it to yourself.

Now, on to heavier matters. World peace, the plight of Palestine, the chaos in Mozambique … I respect your opinions on all of it. Truly, I do. It’s your right to have them and your right to share them. But let’s be real here: Neither I nor the government is obligated to share your feelings. And just so we’re clear, freedom of speech is guaranteed in our Constitution, but as the saying goes – freedom after speech is neither here nor there.

So, as much as you’re entitled to spill your guts about geopolitics, may I suggest you keep some of those hot takes to yourself? It’s not about silencing your voice, it’s about preserving your dignity and maybe your safety, too.

While we’re on the subject of tough truths, let’s address the elephant in the room: death. No one wants to talk about it, but hey, here we are. I’m sending you a pre-emptive ‘Rest in Peace’ message now, while you’re still kicking. No, I’m not wishing you an early departure, I’m simply being practical. When you’re six feet under, you won’t know whether I took the time to ‘RIP’ you on Facebook. And let’s face it, your family probably won’t scroll through your DMs to notify me of your demise.

So, consider this my way of saying you matter while you’re still around to hear it.

Finally, a bit of advice for navigating the coming year: Don’t take life too seriously. Whether it’s the boss breathing down your neck, the elections legal challenge in the courts, which may feel like a personal attack, or the auntie at the wedding who keeps asking why you’re still single, remember to laugh. This is where you get to practise what you learned from ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck’.

So, there you have it. Take it or leave it; either way, I’ve done my part. Here’s to surviving another lap around the sun. If you actually believe Earth is flat, cheers anyway.

Cheers, and may your 2025 be marginally less chaotic than 2024. But hey, let’s not hold our breath, this is Namibia.

Warm regards (or lukewarm, depending on your vibe), your ever-realistic friend Sara Kasim, Peke Peke.

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