Bad Advice

We all have different ideas of what makes a relationship the best thing ever. That’s OK. But there are some people out there who just hand out terrible advice like pamphlets on a street corner. On the internet, everyone is trying to control what you’re supposed to and not supposed to do.

The thing is, not everyone knows you – hence they make assumptions. And because you’re so desperate to fix a situation that you’re in, you end up soaking up whatever advice they throw at you. And because of that, I gathered a couple of lines that people throw at you – which you’ll come to find out isn’t quite true.

“I need to settle with whatever situation I am in, even if it’s bad because I love the person.”

Wrong.

A lot of us do things for love. We stay in terrible situations for love. We believe it will hurt the children if we leave the relationship. Or maybe we deserve to be in a situation because of whatever thing we did in the past. I say that’s nonsense. You honestly don’t have to settle for less, especially from someone who treats you like trash.

You deserve to be loved properly by someone who genuinely cares for you. Don’t stay in a position because it’s convenient. Stay because you want to. After all, happiness is the end goal for all of us, isn’t it?

“Keeping secrets is a good thing because it won’t hurt my partner.”

There’s nothing good about a secret. And when you know it’s a bad one, negative feelings start to fester which is how you start feeling guilty. They say that the longer you keep a secret, the more it hurts. So if you’ve got something to say to your partner, you’ve got to tell them and tell them fast. When it’s a secret so bad that you know it’s going to hurt, what happens if they don’t hear it from you but from someone else? It’ll be an even bigger problem. So be honest. Getting through tough times only make you stronger as a couple.

Like they say, honesty is just one of the key pillars of a relationship. Keep things as honest as possible.

“Sleeping when I’m angry at my partner will make me feel much better in the morning.”

The only thing you’re getting when you sleep after an argument is a body with slightly more energy, not peace of mind. Arguments get heated sometimes, that’s when you should walk away, take a deep breath and think about things when you’re less angry. If it takes a whole night, so be it. But either way, you’re going to have to settle things with your partner. Because you know that when you’re mad, you come up with your own conclusions about what happened. And sometimes you think so far, you make yourself angry all over again. Talk things out. It’ll make a difference.

“You have to like what your partner likes, otherwise there’s no point in dating.” OK, so what if after months of dating, you realise that your partner loves your rival football team? Then what? You’re going to break up?

Seriously.

You’re allowed to have differences in opinion about stuff, coffee or tea, and which direction the toilet roll should face. Small stuff. That’s what makes you unique. Because how boring would be if you and your partner were exactly the same?

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