A Public or Private Proposal?

A proposal is one of those beautiful moments when you finally decide that you want to be with the person you love for the rest of your life. Some people prefer an extravagant proposal witnessed by family and friends.

Like Kanye West did when he proposed to Kim Kardashian on a baseball field on her birthday with a ring costing millions of dollars! Of course it was all captured on camera. Others preferred to keep things on the down low, no one even knows what happened a lá Beyoncé and Jay-Z. The Weekender asked their readers what they would prefer between a public and private proposal.

A majority of people usually opt for a private proposal because of several reasons: Keeping the relationship a secret until the wedding day, or cherishing the moment together, as Jepeni Mandume said. “I prefer a private proposal because I want to keep the confidentiality.” But sometimes, there are more cautious reasons to say ‘yes’ behind closed doors.

Donald Mumbango feels its best to keep it private because people are jealous. “If it’s public, that marriage won’t work because people will destroy it by using witchcraft and so on. They will cause destruction. Just be private and surprise them on the wedding day.”

It is no surprise, however, that some people do not want watchful eyes on their relationship. “I would only consider private,” Leo King Kanime said. “Since our marriage is not for public display, we don’t need to be the centre of attention. Our engagement should remain a secret for a certain amount of time, as one never knows what might go off the hook during the relationship. Furthermore, living in a digital age, we don’t want someone documenting our proposal on social media.”

There are couples who often go on social media and record every moment, coming up with unique hashtags so that family members can spread the word and create a buzz around the relationship. But others think that’s a totally bad idea.

“I don’t expose my private life in public,” Rose Amagulu said. “What if the guy was just joking? Nowadays you cannot trust men until the day he says ‘yes, I do’.”

Indeed, those who have private proposals have the option of saying ‘no’ without causing a controversy. Also, you don’t have to be pressured to make a decision right there and then on the spot. “I’m not pressured to give an answer immediately,” Bernadine Johannes said.

And Jcee Tai agreed. “I prefer a private one because sometimes people accept the proposal because they don’t want to humiliate their partner in front of everyone.”

Finding no need to impress anyone, Given Sisamu had this to say: “I do not want to show them my next move in my relationship. People will only see me in public on the wedding day. Those public things are for those people who want to show off”.

A couple of people believe that a public engagement is the way to go. Not only are you eager to express your love for your partner in front of everyone, but it draws loads of attention and support from strangers.

“It’s of paramount importance to go for public proposal,” Induna Lusata expressed. “This is to deploy a clear message to everyone that the woman officially belongs to another man and vice versa. Anyways, why should you opt for a private proposal? What are you hiding?”

And of course, as Joseph Nashilundo feels that a public proposal is his preference, but only when he’s sure that the other person will say yes.

“A public proposal is a very nice thing. There are good vibes for both couples and the whole world is watching you doing it. It brings smiles to many faces, but it should be done in a manner of true love and not in such a away that you want to embrace your exes.”

Secilia Iileka felt that it was important to show the whole world that her future fiancé would be hers. “Let them see how happy you are,” she said. “Show them how crazy you are and how ready you are to build each other. Make them believe in love again. Inspire them by a public proposal.”

Opting for a well-thought out creative proposal, Suphra Kisting chose public as well. “Conversations and nagging about ‘when’ and ‘if’ we are going to get married are already private enough so if he decides to pop the question, he should give me something I will remember for the rest of my life!”

Sometimes you want to make your partner feel special and receive all the attention in the world, as Charlton Gariseb believes. “She’s been waiting for this moment for a long time. If she refuses, it’s all good, you are human it’ll take time but you’ll be alright.”

A few people feel that it doesn’t matter what kind of proposal it is. Love is love. “Private or public won’t change the meaning, it all depends on the person proposing, how and where they want to do it. Besides, it is the thought that matters! So, either is fine with me,” Ndilly Festus suggested. And sometimes, there is no difference. “Impressing your external ecosystem while depressing your internal ecosystem is definitely of no use,” Jim Tau said.

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