A Lie Goes a Long Way

When you lie, generally, you make excuses saying that it’s ‘for the best’ or ‘it won’t do any harm to the situation’, which as psychologytoday.com describes as “easing our guilt”.

Although the consequences of lying are not immediate, it does create a rift between you and your partner, especially after they find out what you did.

Research states that lying has to do with self-esteem, but it’s not always harmful. People believe that lying is one of the solutions that ‘protect’ the ones we love and some have resorted to doing so reflexively. Interestingly enough, livescience.com had this interesting point to make: “Men lie no more than women, but they tend to lie to make themselves look better, while women are more likely to lie to make the other person feel better”. But it seems that more men are eager to lie to their partners for the sake of making them happy.

“I would… not that it’s a good thing, but sometimes people can’t handle the truth,” Ndumiso Moyo said. And this may be true. After all, the truth can be quite painful to hear, sometimes even awkward. Many of us overlook certain situations for plenty of reasons: Ignoring that your partner is cheating because you don’t want to start a new relationship or even pretending that your partner is not lying to you when you know they are.

“If it means to protect her or us and when I know it is a good lie, then yes,” Gideon Kangume Ndara shared. “For example, telling her that I love her cooking and I will gladly finish it up so she can be convinced. Then there will come a time when I am in a good mood and maybe she will be in the same mood so I will tell her everything.” Telling the truth brings some kind of reassurance to your partner that they can trust you even more because you are not keeping things from them and it will also make them feel much better – allowing them to open up to you and be free with you. Although sometimes, you just want to see your partner happy.

“If it’s what will help me put a smile on my partner’s face, I will do it to the best of my ability as much as I can, especially after trying so many times to make her happy and failing,” Success Da Silva said. “Sometimes it’s about keeping yourself and your partner secured.”

However, the heartache that comes afterwards could lead to a broken relationship. “I know it’s going to be very hard and more painful coming from your partner, but hey, I won’t lie,” Happy Mathews shared. “I will tell the truth. I am telling you because I want you to change (to do better), not to discourage you. He will feel bad that moment but if he thinks about it and is open to change, he will thank me later!”

Although lies may calm down some situations, Elicia Ndinelao believes it’s a bad thing. “As far as I know, a lie will always be a lie, good or bad. One might say it will benefit the situation but at the end of the day, all it does is damage. It’s the little things we do that destroy us (and our relationships). Yo pienso que (I believe that) it’s always good to be on the safe side of everything.” And Princess Wilka Absalom agrees. “Here is the thing. People should stop lying to their partners to make them feel good because it does more damage than good. Rather remain silent about my cooking skills than lie, OK?”

In an age of information overload, Sunrise is The Namibian’s morning briefing, delivered at 6h00 from Monday to Friday. It offers a curated rundown of the most important stories from the past 24 hours – occasionally with a light, witty touch. It’s an essential way to stay informed. Subscribe and join our newsletter community.

The Namibian uses AI tools to assist with improved quality, accuracy and efficiency, while maintaining editorial oversight and journalistic integrity.