IT’S Fifa World Cup time again and while some men and women are as excited as a small child waiting to unwrap their gifts on Christmas morning, others are wishing the month of football frenzy would just end already.
All of a sudden, where there were not enough funds for that naughty weekend away, there is enough money for a 50-inch LED TV. Where brotherman was too busy to even put in leave for that much needed romantic getaway, he now has enough leave days to stay home for an entire week of football mania.
The Fifa World Cup will have people’s relationship statuses changing from ‘in a relationship’ to ‘it’s complicated’ to ‘single’, all before the final whistle is blown.
By the time the World Cup ends, some men will have to break their piggy banks open to make up for all the neglect they put their significant others through while they were vegged out in front of the TV in a football-induced hypnosis.
Plenty of men will say they expect their partners to understand that football is a major part of their lives. “For some of us, football is like a religion,” says sports journalist Sheefeni Nikodemus. “We grew up watching and playing soccer. I already schooled my lady, she gives her issues before or after the game,” he said, adding that football is the one competition his girlfriend will surely not win.
Founder of Thru-Pass football magazine and co-founder of Tura Magic Football Club Isak Hamata said the reason a lot of relationships are troubled by the World Cup is because men want to watch all the matches.
“I know guys who have lost their girlfriends because of soccer. I’ve even lost a girlfriend in the past because of soccer and journalism,” he said. He added that as much as football is part of his life, so too is his family. To balance the two he will choose to watch the crucial matches only.
Football fanatic and part-time coach in Keetmanshoop Denzil Pieters says he would do anything to make his girlfriend accommodate and understand his love for football, especially during the World Cup. “We started having the soccer debate at the beginning of this year. But she just does not want to understand that I have to devote my time to the tournament and we won’t spend as much time together. I will make it up to her. I just want her to want me to have fun and to enjoy the World Cup,” Pieters said.
To get get through this tournament with your relationship intact, it is imperative to know your partner well. There are different types of women out there when it comes to football. Is your lady a ‘Competitor’ or more of a ‘I-Don’t-Mind, Invite-the-Boys-Over’ type of woman? Is she a ‘Miss-Know-It-All’ or right there on the couch with you as a ‘Football Lover’?
The Competitor
The ‘Competitor’ is one of, if not the most difficult partners to deal with. Someone dating this woman will most likely go from being in a relationship to being single during the tournament… At least for a few days. This demanding woman feels that you are making football more important than her and that you need to prove you love her more than absolutely anything else. And to that end, you will have to be willing to give up even the most important match for her. She’s certainly no football fanatic and probably hasn’t even got a clue what is going on, who the best team is, which are the must-watch matches or why the ref is so ridiculous!
Beat the Offside Trap
Instead of going out or having the boys over every night for a game, plan to watch only the most crucial games. We all know that England is wack so it’s really no biggie to skip one or two England games. She of course should not know that there are must-watch games and some not-so-important games, because in her mind all games are equally important.
Choose at least two of your least favoured fixtures and make them seem like the most important of the entire World Cup. Make her believe that you missing out on the match is like her missing out on a Black-Up and MAC cosmetics 60% discount sale. Make her believe that if you miss the match, you will be excluded from a number of conversations with the boys for the rest of the year. On the day of the match, offer to spend time with her instead of watching this very crucial match with the boys… She may suggest that go out with the boys because she knows how important the game is to you. Insist on spending the time with her and emphasise the fact that no match is more important than she is to you. Not only are you likely to elicit an appreciative ‘awww’, you’re guaranteed to be the best boyfriend in the girlfriend circle, for one day at least!
Invite the Boys Over, I Don’t Mind
This must be the partner any man would wish for during the World Cup. She is not too involved in the games but wants you to have fun with your boys on match night. She cooks, makes sure the fridge is stocked with beer and even helps you clean up afterwards.
Round the Keeper
There is only one minor problem. You may have to make it up to her for the rest of the year… References to how she cooked, cleaned and stocked the fridge may be made for the rest of the year, so brace yourself for ‘Telemundo’ re-runs all weekend long. To deal with this particularly complicated creature, balance is required. Not every night should be game night. Surprise her with a home-cooked meal and a movie on down days to keep your boyfriend bank fully stocked.
Miss-Know-It-All
Watching football together as a couple is, according to Hamata, a great way to bond as a family and spend time together as a unit. He says that apart from the benefits of watching soccer as a couple, it is an added bonus if one’s partner understands football and you, as a couple, can debate and deliberate the finer points of the beautiful game. However, there will always be those partners who act like they know it all. They actually don’t know much about football apart from the little they hear their colleagues talk about in the office and what they Google’d only a few minutes ago. She screams ‘offside’ when there’s a throw in and says the player took a dive when your favourite player is rushed to hospital with a broken leg, to add insult to injury. She is convinced she knows all there is to know about football, but questions why Nani is playing for Portugal in the World Cup when he plays for Manchester United which is an English club or why Roy Hodgson isn’t bringing on Gareth Bale. It might be okay if only the two of you are home but Miss-Know-It-All may just be too much when the boys come over or you’re all watching the match at a bar, which is filled with real football ‘experts’.
Hit the Post
The best way to deal with this woman is to quietly correct her when she makes a mistake. Try to subtly discourage her from tagging along when you head out to watch a game to avoid being embarrassed and her making a fool of herself in front of your boys.
Football Lover
This is the woman who loves and understands football as much as you do. With her there is no competition, hurt feelings or sulking when it comes to enjoying the World Cup. She even puts in leave right along with you to watch her favourite matches. She transforms into your best friend because you have somebody to talk to about the game. You even learn a thing or two from her. Both of you love the game, so the World Cup is a chance to spend some quality time together and build on your relationship. There is no need to worry about making up for lost time because you spent the entire month on the couch in front of the TV – together!
Tap in the Rebound
According to a number of football lovers, this is the partner they would give an arm and a leg to have and hold. If you are lucky enough to call this lady your own, hold onto her. Be thankful and appreciate her because somewhere out there, a fellow football lover is holding on for dear life…
