In my view, Valentine’s Day is just a normal day.
Growing up, we were conditioned to believe it was a day on which men had to step up and prove their love through gifts and gestures.
It was drilled into us that if you had a girlfriend, you had to buy her something. Something like flowers, chocolates, a teddy bear or whatever was trending at the time. And if you dared to show up at school without a gift, you would face the ultimate wrath.
The disappointment, the silent treatment, and, of course, the infamous “So you don’t love me?” accusation.
This was 20+ years ago, but has anything really changed? Fast forward to today, and it’s still the same story.
No flowers? She’s angry. No “Be my Valentine” proposal? She’s upset. No effort? It’s a full-blown argument. And the worst part is, there’s no escape: whether you are in a long-term relationship, newly dating or even just casually seeing her, the pressure is there. Can we really live like this? Speaking on behalf of the majority of men, it feels like an exhausting cycle.
What is weird, though, is how one-sided this whole thing is. Valentine’s Day seems to be entirely in favour of women. We as men don’t expect gifts. We don’t ask for special treatment.
We don’t anticipate a favourite meal or anything out of the ordinary. For us it’s just another day, but we are expected to go all out, plan the perfect date and make the day feel magical for them.
But what do we get? Mediocre vibes at its best. It feels like a trap, but it’s time we start changing the narrative around gifting.
Let’s be real, how many times have you gone all out, putting thought, effort and money into the perfect gift, only to receive the most basic, last-minute item in return?
I’m calling on all gents to switch things up.
Before you give her a gift, let her present her gift first. Trust me, this will be an eye-opener, because in most cases there will be little to nothing substantial on their end.
Now, I’m not saying all women do this, but let’s be honest, many tend to default to the simplest, most generic gifts. We already know the usual suspects: socks, boxers, maybe a mug if you’re lucky.
Meanwhile, men are out here buying luxury items, planning surprise getaways and pulling off grand gestures. And yet, this imbalance is widely accepted as normal. So, why not challenge the status quo? Let’s start expecting the same level of thoughtfulness and effort in return.
If we’re going all in, they should too. Fair is fair.
Gentlemen, it’s time for us to unite!
Let’s come together and join the Virtual Men’s Conference on 14 February.
No dates, no dinner reservations, no extravagant gestures, just men gathering online to discuss important topics that affect us all. From personal growth to financial success, from mental health to fatherhood, this is our time to connect, reflect and support one another.
Now, let’s be honest, if we actually followed through with this plan, there would be consequences. Serious ones. Some of us might not make it back from this ‘bold decision’. And the long-term effects on our relationships? Let’s just say they could be life-changing.
It would be a challenge for sure, but imagine a world where we could pull it off. If only it were that simple.
That said, let’s be real – do the right thing for your relationship, marriage or whatever situation you’re in.
Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to spoil your partner, treat her, go the extra mile, buy the flowers, book the dinner, and make the day special.
Sometimes, keeping the peace is the best strategy, and showing appreciation is never a bad investment. So, while the idea of the men’s conference sounds great in theory, it’s not the smarter one.
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