Ugly in Public – Police Got Jokes

• Sara KasimI have lived long enough in Namibia, and the one thing I’ve learned about police officers is how funny they can be.

They can be so funny that the average civilian will simply not be able to grasp it.

Imagine the officer who makes a joke to get you to smile as he is about to let you off the hook, and you pull an ‘I know my rights’ card.

Suddenly, he reverts to ‘Mr Officer Mode’ and gives you a hefty fine for nothing.

I have had my fair share of encounters with our men and women in uniform, and I believe they are cool and down-to-earth people just trying to make things work.

Of course, this excludes the dumb and untrainable elements that have cost us, taxpayers, in civil suits by doing the dumbest sh*t.

I once met the funny side of law enforcement.

I remember a harsh voice coming out of a beautiful face in uniform saying “I am not your friend, my friend. Don’t waste my time! You were speeding”.

“Just take your ticket! You can go pay before the date specified there, or appear in traffic court on that day if you think I am wrong. Sharp!” she said with a stern face as she handed me the ticket.

She turned around as if in a drill exercise, got into the car, and sped off like a maniac.

I could swear I never broke any traffic rule, but I could not fight it out as she was gone – gone so fast it left me furious!

I eventually looked down at the ticket she handed to me and read “Ugly in Public! (Disturbing Peace)” in big letters.

Those words stood out.

The rest of the ticket was scribbled illegibly, and the signature looked like that of a child in Grade 3.

I knew then that the joke was on me.

She had officially called me ugly, and there was no way I could face my accuser because the ticket wouldn’t hold up in any traffic court.

The prosecutor wouldn’t know who to summon.

That is one of the the sickest jokes ever played on a civilian. I have since been violating traffic laws intentionally, hoping that she will come get me again just so that I can finally face my accuser fair and square.

All that has gotten me is a bunch of genuine tickets and fines.

Namibian police officers can be pretty funny when they feel like it.

They’re actually nice people, dropped in a difficult situation.

What sometimes makes it worse is us, the citizenry.

By the way, which training facility trains Namibian Police officers to say “Hello, Hello, Hello!” when talking to citizens?

I just want to understand how they came to adopt this street lingo in such serious business? What if the suspect goes to court just because he didn’t hear the officer tell him to stop, he merely thought it was a loud greeting.

Let me openly admit there are days I know I can take that officer down, even if many come at once – especially the dumb ones.

But we all know we’re not allowed to hit police officers.

Even when they find a way to abuse and torture us, we must be the bigger person.

Have you seen how our officers’ command of English and body posture improve instantly when there are cameras around, particularly on those TV shows?

I think we must film all police officers all the time to force that quality of communication skill.

I roam our streets and hang-out spots with confidence these days only because I know there are a few good men and women out there ready to protect and serve me.

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