The Ordeal of ‘Ordinary’ People at Events

In an era marked by social stratification, public events can serve as a reminder of the dynamics of exclusion and prestige that often govern human interactions.

How the average person is treated at gatherings raises a fundamental question: What defines humanity?

Is it our capacity for empathy, our ability to forge bonds, or perhaps how we treat those who, for various reasons, occupy the fringes of social events?

How people are treated at weddings, funerals, celebrations, and even public gatherings offers insights into the essence of our shared humanity.

VISIBLE HIERARCHIES

At some events, social stratification is blatantly obvious.

Meticulously planned protocols, rigid seating arrangements, and even the order in which guests are served are not minor details.

They dictate who is considered important and who is relegated to the margins, often reflecting broader societal values.

Some attendees are treated as indispensable, while others are merely tolerated.

For instance, wedding seating charts often place distant relatives or acquaintances far from the central tables reserved for close family and high-status guests.

At corporate events, junior employees may find themselves excluded from key conversations, becoming passive observers rather than active participants.

These unspoken, yet clearly enforced, divisions compel us to ask: If humanity is defined by kindness and inclusion, why do we often perpetuate the very hierarchies we claim to oppose?

For those confined to the edges of social gatherings, the experience can range from neglect to outright condescension.

Consider a funeral, where grief should unite everyone present. Yet, even in mourning, hierarchies persist.

At high-profile celebrations, ordinary guests – those without titles or influence – often become background figures, their contributions or emotions rendered invisible.

This is not just a matter of etiquette; it can reflect deeper societal biases.

When we fail to extend the same warmth and respect to all attendees, we implicitly endorse a view that values certain lives over others.

INCLUSIVE SPACES

There is a powerful alternative: Events where hosts consciously cultivate an atmosphere of genuine acknowledgment for all guests, regardless of social standing.

When organisers go out of their way to ensure every attendee feels valued through inclusive seating, personal greetings, or intentional acts of hospitality, they create an environment where humanity triumphs over elitism.

A wedding where the couple personally thank each guest, a corporate retreat where junior staff are given equal speaking opportunities, or a community gathering where no one feels like an outsider – these are the events that celebrate our shared humanity.

Empathy and gratitude become the cornerstones of interaction, making it a moment of collective upliftment.

How we treat people at events does not exist in a vacuum. It reflects and reinforces broader societal attitudes.

When we normalise exclusion, we contribute to a culture that judges individuals based on arbitrary measures of worth, wealth, status or connections.

When we prioritise inclusivity, we challenge these hierarchies, helping foster a society where everyone is recognised as inherently valuable.

This dynamic extends beyond personal events into professional and political spheres.

Corporate cultures that dismiss lower-ranking employees, political functions that cater to the elite, and even informal gatherings where cliques dominate, all mirror the same exclusionary tendencies seen at weddings and funerals.

The difference lies in scale, not substance.

REDEFINING HUMANITY

If our humanity is defined by our capacity for compassion and connection, we must actively resist practices that divide us.

This begins with introspection: Do my actions at gatherings reinforce exclusion, or do they foster belonging?
It continues with deliberate choices – inviting the quiet colleague to contribute in meetings, ensuring that no guest at a party feels left out, or simply making eye contact and offering a sincere greeting to those who might otherwise feel invisible.

Moreover, institutions and communities must adopt policies that promote inclusivity, whether through accessible event planning, broad representation in decision-making, or deliberate efforts to dismantle entrenched hierarchies.

The goal should not be mere tolerance but active celebration of every individual’s presence.

Ultimately, every interaction at public events speaks to who we are as individuals and as a society.

It is an opportunity to reflect on what it means to be human.

Let’s strive to embrace all voices and experiences, ensuring that the richness of our gatherings is not defined by the prominence of attendees but by the integrity with which we treat everyone.

In this way, we can foster an environment where humanity triumphs over elitism, where acknowledgment and gratitude serve as the foundation for true collective celebration.

Our shared humanity is our ability to see, value and uplift one another, especially those society too often overlooks.

• Faustinus Shikukutu, a teacher by experience, is a resident of Kavango East. All views expressed here are his own.

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