The Legend of #HurtBae

Last week, social media got a little emotional. As if life wasn’t hard enough. Mxm.

And it was all thanks to #HurtBae and her story. For those of you who missed out, this is what happened: A woman ‘confronted’ her ex about why they broke up. She had to sit there and listen to him confess that he cheated on her multiple times. The worst part of it all was that he couldn’t even tell her how many women were involved. His answer was: “I wasn’t counting”. And that spawned a reaction.

I have to say that I was amazed at how cool, calm and collected she was – even though she shed a couple of tears. But I expected her to go out, guns blazing, slapping him across the cheek in fury and uttering that he was ‘disgusting’. Honestly, no woman wants to hear that her partner of many years was never ‘ready to commit’. It’s like being tied by a collar and dragged along, hoping things get better. I couldn’t believe my ears when this guy actually asked her why she didn’t leave him when the evidence was there: The text messages from other women… her being chased away while the guy was with another girl… All those tears, all that heartache… Her response to why she stayed? “Because… you were my best friend.”

I won’t even lie, I got sad after watching that video because I could relate to her pain somehow. I could hear it in her voice, see it in her eyes and feel it in the steps she took after she walked away from the camera.

This guy was contemplating his life for a minute, realising that she was the ‘perfect’ girlfriend, someone he needed, but he decided to gallivant and cheat on her instead. What a wow. I mean, it really shows that no matter how great you think you are, you can never really do anything to stop your partner from cheating – they have to stop themselves.

Using this case as an example, it really irks me that there are men who do everything they can to be with the women they claim to love and when things finally work out, they turn around and mess everything up.

I’d really like to understand the reasoning behind this. You want to commit, but you also don’t want to commit. What is that supposed to mean and how is the other person supposed to feel? Why fall for someone and promise to take care of them when you knowingly become the source of their pain? Is that how people believe love works or is my reasoning broken?

Despite hearing this direct truth from her past lover, what did #HurtBae do? She chose to remain friends with him. Although the trust between them will forever be broken, she told herself that she was going to let the past be the past. From what we know, she’s currently in a happy relationship and she looks better than ever.

All of this happened three years ago, but it only aired recently, so we can all learn from this.

Some past relationships may be painful to talk about, but at the end of the day, it is possible to emerge stronger than ever from them. You’re well on your way to happiness and maybe that ex of yours was a hurdle on the way to the relationship you deserve. But that’s what these difficulties are for: Teaching us things we never knew about ourselves, bringing out the best in us and helping us grow. Just as #HurtBae moved on, so will you.

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