The high cost of death: Not only do we lose our loved ones, we must also suffer the loss of property

APPOLUS Nginanasho Kamungu squatted in the firelight of the living room of his kraal at Ombalantu in the Omusati Region and told his story of sorrow.

Kamungu has buried six relatives in two years. He drew with a stick in the sand floor the links between him and the loved ones who had passed.”In November of 2003, my sister’s son died.I am a rich man so I slaughtered two cattle and I bought the beer and the cool drinks, the food for the mourners and I bought the coffin,” he said.The firelight reflected in the tears of his eyes as he remembered.”Then, in January of 2004, my cousin died and I slaughtered two cattle again.In July the same year my brother-in-law died and I slaughtered two cattle.In November, 2004, my aunt died and I slaughtered two more cattle.But now I did not have enough money for the drinks and the food, I was forced to go and beg for help.”His debt built and he became depressed.But he said his wife counselled him and gave him the Book of Job to read.He said he and his wife found strength in the book and they turned their troubles over to God.His wife gave him the strength to continue, he said.Without her help, Kamungu said he could have turned to suicide as a way out.But his troubles were not yet over.Last year, his daughter died.He slaughtered three cattle.Then his uncle died in the same year.But his uncle had his own cattle and Kamungu did not have to slaughter his cattle.But he learned a lesson from Chief Oswin Mukulu of Ombalantu.The chief had thought about the problems of his people and in 2001 he began to tell them they must bury their dead more quickly.He told them the cost of paying for cattle and food for mourners over many, many days, was drying up their property.Kamungu said he shortened the period of mourning between the deaths of his daughter and his uncle.This reduced his cost.Kamungu’s story is a common one through Namibia as the country struggles to stem the HIV-AIDS pandemic.So many young men in the North have died that the male-female balance has been upset.This results in too few men for the many young women.As a result, if a man is rich, or appears to be, he can attract women easily.And if he is HIV-positive, he passes along a death sentence to the young women in his life.”Many people have nothing and they have lost their property because of the many deaths,” said Chief Mukulu.”If people are not careful they will be left with nothing.The dead destroy the living,” he said.”I am trying my best to warn my people about this problem.You lose both human beings and property.”But he said many of his people are afraid to listen because there is stigma attached to doing a simple funeral.”They want to simplify but they are afraid the people in the village will say they do not show respect for the dead,” the chief said.Because of the coffin expense, the chief has also advised his people to think about the traditional way of burying people by wrapping them in a blanket or clothes when necessary.But the chief said that stigma again plays a role.”We in Ombalantu have a chief with a vision,” said Chris Naundjomba, sub-chief of a village in Ombalantu.He said he has no doubt that the people from Ombalantu will follow the advice of their chief in the future.Sion Sheehama, the owner of Zionist Funeral Services, said his company buries an average of 200 people each month.He has eight funeral homes in the north.He said coffins cost from N$800 to N$10 000.Services costs in the range of N$1 200 in addition.Sheehama said even though he is a businessman he worries when people take expensive coffins when they are not rich.He was asked if being an undertaker is maybe the best business to be in because of the rising number of deaths.He said people must remember he too is touched by death in his own family.Theo Indongo, who works for Avbob, the largest undertaker in the country, said he listens carefully to the needs of the family when they visit his funeral home in Oshakati.”Some people are all talk but they do not have the money.They say they must have the best coffin.But I listen to the person who will have to pay,” he said.While The Namibian visited the funeral home, the Nghisheshwa family came into the funeral home to select a coffin for Hanghome Nghisheshwa, a pensioner from a village in Ohangwena Region.Go­vernment pays N$2 000 toward the funerals of pensioners.This covers the cost of the cheapest coffins, limited services and the burial.Indongo said most of the funerals come in at this level.But some people want a more expensive coffin and pay the difference.The Nghisheshwa family decided to pay N$1 946 for their coffin instead of the cheapest one.One undertaker said he prefers to work with the poor people because they are much more grateful for his services that the rich.”After I bury their relative, they will ask me to come to eat and drink with them.But the rich often forget about us,” he said.Otto Kapia, of Kapia Funeral Service in Ondangwa, said he blamed the pastors, the politicians, the Police, all in authority because they are unwilling to communicate well about HIV-AIDS.”You must be willing to name body parts like vagina and penis when discussing HIV,” he said.”But they – especially the pastors – are too sensitive in talking about this.”He pounded his fist and said the Bible warns: “Where there is no vision, the people will perish.My people are destroyed because of lack of knowledge.”Kapia said Namibians need to speak the truth about sexuality.”Don’t hide the truth while people are dying.”We must be willing, Kapia said, to speak plainly with young people when they say to us “Why would I eat the candy with the wrapper on it,” referring to their dislike of using a condom.He said it would make him very happy if he did not have another funeral in six months.”I don’t want to profit from death.I want to serve my people.”EDITOR’S NOTE: The people in this story are real.The only name that has been changed is Appolus Nginanasho Kamungu, the person who spoke of his private grief.He drew with a stick in the sand floor the links between him and the loved ones who had passed.”In November of 2003, my sister’s son died.I am a rich man so I slaughtered two cattle and I bought the beer and the cool drinks, the food for the mourners and I bought the coffin,” he said.The firelight reflected in the tears of his eyes as he remembered.”Then, in January of 2004, my cousin died and I slaughtered two cattle again.In July the same year my brother-in-law died and I slaughtered two cattle.In November, 2004, my aunt died and I slaughtered two more cattle.But now I did not have enough money for the drinks and the food, I was forced to go and beg for help.”His debt built and he became depressed.But he said his wife counselled him and gave him the Book of Job to read.He said he and his wife found strength in the book and they turned their troubles over to God.His wife gave him the strength to continue, he said.Without her help, Kamungu said he could have turned to suicide as a way out.But his troubles were not yet over.Last year, his daughter died.He slaughtered three cattle.Then his uncle died in the same year.But his uncle had his own cattle and Kamungu did not have to slaughter his cattle.But he learned a lesson from Chief Oswin Mukulu of Ombalantu.The chief had thought about the problems of his people and in 2001 he began to tell them they must bury their dead more quickly.He told them the cost of paying for cattle and food for mourners over many, many days, was drying up their property.Kamungu said he shortened the period of mourning between the deaths of his daughter and his uncle.This reduced his cost.Kamungu’s story is a common one through Namibia as the country struggles to stem the HIV-AIDS pandemic.So many young men in the North have died that the male-female balance has been upset.This results in too few men for the many young women.As a result, if a man is rich, or appears to be, he can attract women easily.And if he is HIV-positive, he passes along a death sentence to the young women in his life.”Many people have nothing and they have lost their property because of the many deaths,” said Chief Mukulu.”If people are not careful they will be left with nothing.The dead destroy the living,” he said.”I am trying my best to warn my people about this problem.You lose both human beings and property.”But he said many of his people are afraid to listen because there is stigma attached to doing a simple funeral.”They want to simplify but they are afraid the people in the village will say they do not show respect for the dead,” the chief said.Because of the coffin expense, the chief has also advised his people to think about the traditional way of burying people by wrapping them in a blanket or clothes when necessary.But the chief said that stigma again plays a role.”We in Ombalantu have a chief with a vision,” said Chris Naundjomba, sub-chief of a village in Ombalantu.He said he has no doubt that the people from Ombalantu will follow the advice of their chief in the future.Sion Sheehama, the owner of Zionist Funeral Services, said his company buries an average of 200 people each month.He has eight funeral homes in the north.He said coffins cost from N$800 to N$10 000.Services costs in the range of N$1 200 in addition.Sheehama said even though he is a businessman he worries when people take expensive coffins when they are not rich.He was asked if being an undertaker is maybe the best business to be in because of the rising number of deaths.He said people must remember he too is touched by death in his own family.Theo Indongo, who works for Avbob, the largest undertaker in the country, said he listens carefully to the needs of the family when they visit his funeral home in Oshakati.”Some people are all talk but they do not have the money.They say they must have the best coffin.But I listen to the person who will have to pay,” he said.While The Namibian visited the funeral home, the Nghisheshwa family came into the funeral home to select a coffin for Hanghome Nghisheshwa, a pensioner from a village in Ohangwena Region.Go­vernment pays N$2 000 toward the funerals of pensioners.This covers the cost of the cheapest coffins, limited services and the burial.Indongo said most of the funerals come in at this level.But some people want a more expensive coffin and pay the difference.The Nghisheshwa family decided to pay N$1 946 for their coffin instead of the cheapest one.One undertaker said he prefers to work with the poor people because they are much more grateful for his services that the rich.”After I bury their relative, they will ask me to come to eat and drink with them.But the rich often forget about us,” he said.Otto Kapia, of Kapia Funeral Service in Ondangwa, said he blamed the pastors, the politicians, the Police, all in authority because they are unwilling to communicate well about HIV-AIDS.”You must be willing to name body parts like vagina and penis when discussing HIV,” he said.”But they – especially the pastors – are too sensitive in talking about this.”He pounded his fist and said the Bible warns: “Where there is no vision, the people will perish.My people are destroyed because of lack of knowledge.”Kapia said Namibians need to speak the truth about sexuality.”Don’t hide the truth while people are dying.”We must be willing, Kapia said, to speak plainly with young people when they say to us “Why would I eat the candy with the wrapper on it,” referring to their dislike of using a condom.He said it would make him very happy if he did not have another funeral in six months.”I don’t want to profit from death.I want to serve my people.”EDITOR’S NOTE: The people in this story are real.The only name that has been changed is Appolus Nginanasho Kamungu, the person who spoke of his private grief.