Stop Asking When I’m Having a Baby

Dear Society, the other day i started a journal for my baby – a baby I’m not sure I would ever get to meet.

You see, like so many other women I am struggling to conceive, and after over two years of trying, I have grown weary.

Apart from the fact that I feel like a failure for not being able to conceive, people keep asking me when I would have a baby.

They also feel the need to remind me that at 36 I am no longer a spring chicken, and that my husband (who is almost 40) would be a great dad.

Like, “duh”!
I am fully aware of all these things. I sometimes ask myself why I waited so long. Why didn’t I just have a child with the man I was dating at 28?
But I know it wasn’t what I wanted for myself at the time, and I, like so many others, only found my ‘Prince Charming’ deep in my 30s.

I have come so close to crying when bombarded with that infamous question, and have started avoiding certain people because it seems they feel the need to ask me ‘why aren’t you pregnant yet?’ and ‘when are you going to pay the wedding dress?’.
According to an article by Katie Williams, this is one of the most insensitive questions you could ask a woman today.
All I would like to tell them is to mind their own business, and stay in their lane.

I want to be able to say what is really on my heart at that moment so people don’t feel the need to ask the next couple they meet these types of questions.

I wish people were mindful of the fact that there are so many factors one has to consider when approaching anyone with such a personal question. I wish society would do some research, and just maybe they would learn about polycystic ovarian syndrome, fertility issues, genetic concerns, fibroids and countless other things.

So next time you feel compelled to give your two cents’ worth, kindly remind yourself that the person you are asking may have a valid reason they do not feel like sharing with you.

They too are wondering whether they would ever have the privilege of carrying a baby full term and bringing life into this world.
TTC women

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