With hashtags like #TwitterAfterDark, often during the wee hours our timelines are flooded with tweets about how we could be having better sex, better orgasms or better relationships.
This week The Weekender got an opportunity to sit down with Zama Mkhize, a consultant from Pure Romance, a company that trades bedroom accessories, to share the nitty-gritty of how couples can make their sex lives more pleasurable.
Pure Romance boasts a range of different sex toys, body enhancers, lubes, massage products, foreplay and fantasy as well as vaginal health products. All these can be used by anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
According to writer Magnus Sullivan, heterosexual men are often made to feel ashamed about masturbation and using sex toys. However, he believes it is important that both men and women give these bedroom accessories a try as he believes they help to build your understanding of your body and in the end helps you to be a better lover.
Mkhize shared that for those who are not familiar with sex toys for men, there are c-rings, pleasure sleeves and a variety of anal play vibrators.
C-rings are also known as c*ck rings, and worn around the penis, usually at the base. According to Wikipedia, “the primary purpose of wearing a c*ck ring is to restrict the flow of blood from the erect penis in order to produce a stronger erection or to maintain an erection for a longer period of time”.
“The favourites among the c-rings is ‘;Synchronise’; which is flexible with a textured clitoral massager which is also great for dual play. For anal play, we have ‘;Backstage Pass’; which are anal beads that gradually increase in size and intensity.”
For women, the most common sex toys are dual action vibrators that can be used either alone or with a partner.
“The most popular sex toys for women include Main Attraction and Frequent Flyer Swing,” said Mkhize, referring to a dual action vibrator with shapely shaft and clitoral massager and a soft padded door harness which can be used to unlock new sexual positions.
Besides the toys, Pure Romance has massage products and games which can be used to rekindle a connection that has long since fizzled or simply isn’;t as strong any more.
“One of the pillars we emphasise is communication, and this can be achieved through relaxing your partner with easy-to-use massage products, and our date night cards.”
Mkhize mentioned that the date night cards contain conversation and action prompts. Couples can play the cards, which lead them in asking questions that are essential in bringing that much needed spark back, and the action cards guide couples through igniting that spark.
An example of the date night conversation cards: “Tell me how you feel about sex in the shower?” This aids finding out where exactly your partner wants to do it.
An action card might say “French kiss your partner without touching them for two minutes”.
On factors to consider if you would like to gift your partner with sex toys, Mkhize said it was important to communicate the idea of incorporating toys into the relationship before you buy them. “Bring up the topic through play. Find out what it is the other person wants and how they want it. This usually helps narrow the choices in toys or whether a partner is comfortable with the idea in the first place.”
Addressing myths about sex toys that make many men uncomfortable, Mkhize had this to say: “Toys can’;t kiss your partner, hug and hold them. They also can’;t buy them chocolates, deliver flowers nor tell your partner ‘;I love you’;.”
Mkhize said that the products are very safe – provided they are used with the correct lubricants, cleaned and stored correctly. “The same ‘;exercise, eat right, keep clean’; mentality we have towards our body applies to our organs.”
Facebook user Artur Galactico said sex toys get a firm no from him. “I personally like to feel the body as the physical part of sex plays with the emotions,” he said.
Pandenie Hawala, on the other hand, gives them a resounding yes! “Sex toys are a big yes. A whip here and there never killed anyone,” he said with a chuckle.
With two upcoming events, ‘;Bed Peace’; at the Gin Room on Thursday, 25 October, and a ‘;Pure Romance Evening’; at FNCC on Monday, 19 November, Mkhize said: “People have different perceptions about Pure Romance and events like these give me a platform to explain what exactly we do”.
“A lot of men think I simply sell sex toys and I am trying to get rid of the work men would rather do themselves. However, a lot of women find my presentations eye-opening and I have received texts at 02h00 from married women whose husbands haven’;t touched them in years to say thank you for saving a marriage by reviving the sex.”
In an age of information overload, Sunrise is The Namibian’s morning briefing, delivered at 6h00 from Monday to Friday. It offers a curated rundown of the most important stories from the past 24 hours – occasionally with a light, witty touch. It’s an essential way to stay informed. Subscribe and join our newsletter community.
The Namibian uses AI tools to assist with improved quality, accuracy and efficiency, while maintaining editorial oversight and journalistic integrity.
Stay informed with The Namibian – your source for credible journalism. Get in-depth reporting and opinions for
only N$85 a month. Invest in journalism, invest in democracy –
Subscribe Now!
