Skip ‘Transformers 5’

THE most merciful thing about ‘Transformers: The Last Knight’ (2017) is that it tacks its teaser scene right onto the movie.

Of course, by then you would have watched two hours and 29 minutes of overlong action sequences peppered into mess of mythology, the futuristic and the downright dull.

Teasers being what they are, you’ll also know that despite all wisdom urging the contrary, the franchise isn’t done yet.

Directed by Michael Bay, starring Mark Wahlberg, wasting Anthony Hopkins and neglecting everyone’s favourite Autobots, ‘The Last Knight’ begins in the time of Merlin where an alien staff is bequeathed to the famed wizard by the Knights of Iacon, a dozen Transformers hidden on Earth.

Playing fast and loose with history, the demise of Hitler and even throwing Harriet Tubman into the stew for asinine measure, ‘The Last Knight’ stuffs everything it can into its Scorsese-worthy duration as it crashes through as many battles, explosions and as much CGI as Bay can sardine into locations such as Chicago, London and “Namibia, West Africa.”

Yes, you read that right.

Geographically incompetent, short on fun, soul and basic coherence, if ‘Transformers: The Last Knight’ proves anything, it’s that the fifth time’s the harm.

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