Shame

It’s time for y’all to stop body shaming each other, my gosh. Last week, the ever-so-ambitious Cassper Nyovest posted an amazing picture of himself, posing at the pool, showing off his new body.

But it seems that a handful of ladies were mad because he didn’t seem to be packing ‘down there’.

This is 2017. Why should we allow this kind of behaviour? Even if you’re a woman, it’s not OK to shame people.

There are too many unnecessary comments out there. “Has a height problem,” “ugly”, “too black”. And they are comments that are so loosely thrown around because it doesn’t affect the person who says them.

But when it does, then suddenly, they want to get mad.

What? So short men are a problem? Or if you’re not an Instagram baddie, then you’re kamma not attractive?

I think this is one of the many reasons why insecurities exist. Because random people are forcing what they think is beautiful on you, and when you believe that, you start to become self-conscious. You ask things like: ‘What do I find beautiful about myself?’ if you don’t fit into their standards.

Researchers have found that filters are the best way to make people feel more confident about themselves. And that’s where the problem lies.

Believing other people’s impossible standards.

For women, you see them all over social media: The people who look like Kylie Jenner or Pia Mia. The women who look like Rihanna and Beyoncé. The women who have slim thick bodies, flossing with their perfect legs and bathing in sunlight, looking like heavenly goddesses. And then there are the Barbie-lookalikes and the Victoria’s Secret models. Or the women with beauty from out of this world. Skin perfect and glowing. No wrinkles whatsoever. A sweet tan from the African sun. Hundreds of thousands of likes and followers on social media. Celebrities, even. Famous for all the reasons.

Listen. We are not all destined for that life. We can’t all fit into this fictional idea of what beauty is. We’re all beautiful. Men, you too. The pressure to have a beard, my gosh. Not everyone has that privilege. And not everyone looks good in one, I’m just saying.

And what’s worse – the people who shame those with beer bellies. And some aren’t even beer bellies, it’s just genetics. Let’s not even get started on size/package.

It’s exhausting living up to what society wants us to be. We just need to be who we are, and we’ll attract whoever we attract. Because if you have to constantly prove yourself to people, then what’s the point? You’re stressing yourself out, pretending to be someone you’re not, just to get a stranger’s approval.

For those of you who are critically analysing someone’s body just to fit into your idea of what beautiful is, shame on you. Seriously. Who decided to crown you the master of bodies? Nobody.

It’s just another form of bullying and it’s stupid. People commit suicide over these things and it’s wrong for you to judge a person’s genetics. It’s not your place to comment. Sure, there are people who are not physically attractive, but that doesn’t mean that’s the end of life for them.

This is why I’m so glad about the rise of so many black, talented people in all aspects of life: Modelling, literature, music… Look at Maria Borges or Duckie Thot, for example. Look at the inclusivity that Fenty Beauty is bringing to the world. Look at black movies getting millions of dollars – more than ever before.

Just the other day, the disability awareness fashion show at Unam was a huge success. We’re breaking boundaries, people. Let’s keep on with it.

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