Self-Doubt is Self-Centred

WHEN we think of someone as being self-centred, we often picture someone who is arrogant and narcissistic to the detriment of those around them.

However, it is important to know that having a high degree of self-doubt or self-criticism is equally self-centred and has the same detrimental impact on those around you, such as your teammates, colleagues and acquaintances.

Allow me to explain.

When we think of someone as arrogant, we are usually describing someone who puts his or her needs, profit or pleasure above those of others – sometimes even at others’ expense.

The term for that is ‘selfish’, and that is never a good trait.

However, self-centredness involves being excessively preoccupied with oneself.

In other words, when a person is intensely concerned about what others think of them and their actions, and constantly worry about being judged or ridiculed.

This is the same as being overly self-conscious.

Here is the point: Both selfishness and self-consciousness are self-centred in nature.

When you have an unreasonable level of self-doubt or self-criticism, you’re effectively robbing those around you of the opportunity to learn, grow or experience your inherent strengths and capabilities.

It is silently and subtly damaging to yourself and others.

The unreasonable self-limitations you impose on yourself become actual limitations to others, and this is especially compounded if you are in a position of responsibility.

The harsh truth is that false or unrealistic humility is more selfish than it is noble. The truth is, we should balance being humble with knowing our roles and our capabilities.

The aim is to think of yourself less, not to think less of yourself.

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