These days, I’ve been listening to songs about the past and how great it used to be. Remember when chatting was the in thing and hanging out at Zoo Park felt like the grass was greener?
Life felt chilled and less pressured than it does right now. Think about it: Being lovers for the first time. You know the kind that almost had you reckless? The kind where you would sit in class, and doodle all day, thinking about how happy you are? Man.
It was a special time, because everyone was just behaving so differently. Imagine this: Saving up maybe N$50 from doing chores so that you can buy chocolates for the girl you liked. Or taking your dad’s car, claiming that you were going to the shop to ‘quickly buy something’, just for you to pick up your crush and go on a date. Sometimes it would be at school, under the tree where you would chill with friends, or that place in town where you could watch the river flow, play in the dunes, or watch the cattle pass by during the hot summer days.
Young love was like going to every teen’s favourite hang-out spot to officially announce that you were a couple. A hundred bucks was a lot of money back then. Movies were a thing and making memories was a vibe. The trade fairs and Windhoek Show didn’t stand a chance. Because you’d proudly hold hands, even though everyone was looking at you like you were out of your minds, but you knew that you were young lovers under the sun and no one could take that away from you, no matter how hard they tried.
Everyone admired your relationship. I mean, you were pretty much good looking for that age, and having someone on your arm who admired you the same way you did them… That was life. It was a wild time, you even had a theme song. Mario or Ne-Yo, maybe. Heck, it could have been that house track the both of you loved dancing to like there was no tomorrow.
But then life happened. You slowly drifted apart and all the good times faded away. The thing is, you still have their number saved and memorised.
“The hard part always seems to last forever. Sometimes I forget that we aren’t together,” Khalid sings in his song ‘Saved’. Because all the memories, especially the good ones, don’t disappear overnight. They appear during those random moments – like passing by that pizza place where you had your first kiss. Or remembering how you gave each other hugs around the corner from your house. “I’ll keep your number saved ’cause I hope one day you’ll get the sense to call me.”
It’s a sad stage, being hopeful like that. Especially when you were deeply in love. So much that the thought of letting go feels like you’ll be scarring yourself. There has to be a chance, right? Even if texting back seems scary, maybe there’ll be a chance to rekindle things.
But then you ask yourself the question: Do they still care? Even if they were in the wrong, is it your place to take them back? And would you even call them back or is your pride in the way? You ask this while staring at their number in your phone. It’s even in your dreams sometimes.
Until you come to a point when you realise that the reason you wanted to call them wasn’t because you wanted them back. It was because you wanted to have that conversation where you can finally say: “I’m over you”. Right?
