Romanticise

Romanticise is a word that has crept up on me lately, and out of curiosity, I started researching what it was all about.

The Oxford dictionary defines it as “dealing with or describing in an idealised or unrealistic fashion; make (something) seem better or more appealing than it really is”. Being someone who likes to be socially conscious of her environment, especially on social media, it has opened my eyes to a number of things and brought about a trigger as to what we have actually been doing wrong.

To elaborate further on this point, I watched the controversial movie ‘Me Before You’ which basically proved the point of what it means to romanticise something.

Please note: If you haven’t watched the movie or read the book, you’re going to find spoilers in this article, so please stop reading at this point.

OK, here’s the thing: Love stories are beautiful. We know this. It’s something as obvious as an apple on a banana tree. But when we try to add glitter to something that’s really problematic, then we’re completely missing the point here.

Let’s take the couple Louisa Clarke and Will Trainor. She’s a young woman who needs money and is able to find a job where she’s supposed to take care of Will, a paraplegic man who’s confined to a wheelchair.

Although she’s not qualified, his family insists that as long as she’s willing to do it, the job is hers. He’s cruel to her at first (it was actually portrayed better in the book, but that’s beside the point) but eventually he warms up to this quirky girl and they fall in love.

But the problem is he made a contract with some lawyer, because he’s desperate to die. He feels that he can’t deal with his condition any longer, and despite finding love and being happy with her, he still believes that he should die because he’s no longer the man that he once was.

Now, if you think that’s pretty messed up, it is. Yet, people would say ‘aw, that’s the most beautiful love story I’ve ever seen!’ Yet… it’s not as pretty as it seems.

What are you saying to other paraplegic people out there? That they should die and give up, even if love comes their way? That they should give up on prayer because there’s no point? Things like that just make me uncomfortable. We’re so invested in a love story that the real issues are besides the point, as long as we just get to say ‘awww’. Nah, fam.

Same can be said about the story of a man and a woman who were sick, but news agencies were all over it because he died while they were Facetiming each other. Someone died, people. And now we’re just there like ‘wow, that’s so romantic’ or ‘that’s so beautiful, I want a love like that’. Really? You want your life to be struck by tragedy so that people can pity you? It’s one thing to want a relationship, but it’s another thing to seek relationship goals in tragedy. How can that be something you aspire to? Hence, romanticising.

Of course we love romance and everything that has to do with it, but please, let’s just be more sensitive to the issue. Death is absolutely terrible and gushing over a couple who have to deal with it or suffer from calamity is not amusing.

Life is not a drama, but some people live for that, I’ve realised. All I’m saying is that we should open our eyes a little more.

– @I_Am_Mickey on Twitter;

Mickey Nekomba on Facebook

In an age of information overload, Sunrise is The Namibian’s morning briefing, delivered at 6h00 from Monday to Friday. It offers a curated rundown of the most important stories from the past 24 hours – occasionally with a light, witty touch. It’s an essential way to stay informed. Subscribe and join our newsletter community.