Respect Your Elders

‘Respect your elders’ is an adage older than the individuals it urges us to revere. But for us to be healthy and functioning society, we need to do more than just respect them.

In life, business and beyond, we need to listen to them. Be inspired by their experiences, learn from their mistakes, and lift them up as they did for us.

Respect, after all, is defined as ”a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their ability, qualities or achievements.” This feeling applies to our relationship with those who came before us, and rightfully so. The lives we enjoy come as a result of those who fought for our rights, and more specifically, give birth to and raised us.

That’s deeply admirable, and even where one may disagree with their elders, it is worth paying due respect. But admiration and respect exist solely as feelings, and these aren’t enough to turn our relationships with our elders into productive, active ones that make sense in our modern day.

So yes, respect your elders, but do more than just that. For example, celebrate them because they have overcome obstacles that many of us will never face.

Their achievements and longevity are well worth celebrating, and not just at birthdays and funerals. I once heard one of my friends saying: “The idea of honouring old age is identifying it with wisdom and closeness to God.”

Be inspired by your elders, especially if your parents were immigrants. That’s inspiring as well. In fact, even the basics of parenting and life are inspiring: Raising children, working long hours in difficult industries, enduring life’s many hurdles decade after decade…

Inspiration is defined by the urge to act based on feelings. The key here is that we shouldn’t just respect everything our elders experienced, but be inspired to be better employees, parents, spouses and citizens.

Support your elders. The way we treat them is a reflection of a society and its value. The best way to support them is to advocate care, infrastructure, housing, finance and more.

Celebrating, learning from, being inspired by and supporting our elders paints a more expensive picture of what respect should look like. If we foster these things today, the next generation will do the same for us when our time comes.

Obey your elders and submit to them for they are keeping watch over your souls. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would not be advantageous to you. Do not rebuke an elder man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all parties. Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.

Tulonga Nghiningwalai is an avid reader who wants to inspire the nation.