Public Displays of Affection

There’s no escaping couples. They’re in the mall, they’re in the park, they’re on the roads – like South African telecommunications company

MTN puts it: they’re ‘everywhere you go’. And it’s a welcome sight, because the single you probably likes to go “aw, that’s so sweet! Relationship goals!” But it’s all smiles and admiration until the couple starts kissing in front of you.

Some people love making that sour lemon face, similar to that of McKayla Rose Maroney. Remember her? Or that rolling eyes Robert Downey Junior picture circulating around the net?

The bitterness though… Nevertheless, I understand why you would react that way. You were raised to keep your business behind closed doors and that’s OK. The thing is, I don’t think it’s wise to spit on others who want to show public affection because it’s just going against your morals and values. Sometimes, you secretly wish it was you, don’t lie.

But there are limits, I know. And today, I would like to share them with you: introducing the ‘when PDA would not work for you’ points:

When you’re in school uniform

Schools take their pride seriously. When you wear your school uniform, you’re representing a lifestyle, a culture, heck, even the school grounds. So when you’re out and about in town making kissy faces at each other and having a good time in uniform, best believe you’re going to be judged for it. People will know who you are and where you’re from, and like it or not, some will go to the extent of reporting you to the newspaper (where all your business will be made public) or go directly to the school principal. It has happened before. Same can be said for those in military uniforms, actually. Just keep a look out for that.

When you’re at a formal dinner

How awkward would it be if you randomly grabbed your partner and started making out with them while someone is making a formal speech at a fundraising dinner? Imagine how uncomfortable everyone in the room would be. Funny, but not really. According to the social rules (whose origin I don’t even know), it’s a thing to keep any PDAs to a minimum and that extends to a strict kiss on the cheek. Caressing your partner are kept under the table only, and away from prying eyes. Oh, and dirty talk is apparently not encouraged either. Picture the ‘Let Me Blow Ya Mind’ video featuring Gwen Stefani and Eve and you’ll get an idea of what I mean.

When you’re at church

Imagine how much trouble and judgement you’d receive if you decided to even kiss your partner at church. Awkward! With all those eyes on you, best believe the pastor is going to throw a couple verses at the congregation, particularly directed at you of course. Masters of subtweeting. And once it happens, it’ll never be forgotten. It would be like your reputation now: the couple who can’t keep their hands off each other. If you break up, oh, members of the church are going to talk about it and give you that insane side eyes whenever you walk past. Best keep your business between you and God!

Point is, everyone should respect each other’s space. Love is fun and everything, but you can’t just go into a shop and undress someone because you feel like being a rebel. It’s only fair to be considerate of those who are not used to that kind of behaviour. But if you’re the observer, keep this in mind: PDA is not a crime, so if it bothers you, look away or leave the area. Problem solved.

-@I_Am_MickeyB on Twitter;

Mickey Nekomba on Facebook

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