Parliament: Shape Up Or Ship Out

In his latest sermon, at the Uptown Church of Elites and Neo Riche, the lay preacher in chief called on his congregants to become responsible citizens, while exercising their duties with suave and finesse.
Well, in Namibia that might as well mean make a plan, put up the facades and chop the gwop – while these peasants are sleeping.

This bunch of mamparas go to work everyday, in cars that are bankrolled by taxpayers’ money. Sitting with hefty refreshment budgets and the promise of new iPhones – thanks to Esau’s random rambling the other day.
While we sit with a huge backlog in the passing of laws.

Why? Let me tell you. These moegoes only go to parliament for their afternoon siestas. When they are not sleeping, they are speaking in circles about their liberation struggle credentials, wealth and booze. That’s before they get all sexed up and resort to porn snooping.

Yes, we read the news. No wonder Namibia is still wallowing in poverty. The misleaders are lazy. With all that said, it is high time G-dawg makes that long-overdue Cabinet reshuffle happen.

I know that Mee Anna is out here thinking she’s not our favourite person right now. Truth is, she is our favourite person – by default. And that’s how pathetic life has become for Namibians. We are just not spoiled for choice.
Which explains why we are happily married to the idea of Namibia’s bundle of joy being our minister of joblessness. And talk of stealth and down-low would not be complete without mentioning the name of one Kalumbi.

One moment Covid-19 is not something to worry about. A stinking multimillion-dollar condoms tender later and we should now be very worried about the pandemic.

Is it only me or is there something awfully odd with Iipumbu? Like, in some sneaky kind of way.
Just one look at the dude, and we are convinced that all is well, we should not worry about poverty and the recession – albeit fallaciously.

Anyway, the introduction of G-Dawg’s pool of young bloods did very little in doing away with the retirement home vibe that lingers over that place. But they’re lifelong learners.

I’m not really sure about how keeping the rest of the Tanganyikas will remedy the situation. Big boys and girls look like 95-year-olds whose 25-year-old concubines initiate a little roll in the hay and they’re still trying to figure out whether to run or partake.

And then we have the opposition parties. Out here hopping in and out of bed with Swapo on issues daily. Kamma they are only there to serve.
Now, here is the deal for the seventh parliament of Namibia.

Word for the United Democratic Front. Stop sitting in there just listening to crap and signing off on all of it.
Christian Democratic Voice, please get into the fray. Focusing on all that standing committee nonsense in the background is cool – only if you want to join Swapo after this term. You need votes in 2024, and they come from the masses.

Landless People’s Movement: Look, we all know this party was started in Dolam, launched at the Herero Mall and has now taken the fight to the highest level. It is obvious that you are out there loaded with Groot-Winkel manners and the only thing missing from your bag of goodies is a two-litre bottle of Monis Granada. But gents, a bit of protocol can also go a long way.
Nudo of Namibia. We see you. Shouting out loud on the one side and clapping hard on the other. And then there is the Swanu of Namibia. See, the cats in this camp are just too educated for the local political scene. In fact, this whole clique still live in the diaspora – or so they behave.
And that is how that cookie crumbles.